This is a series of 3D models created by Turkish character artist Hossein Diba imagining the Simpsons family (plus Mr. Burns) in real life. As you can see, Marge is not nearly as alluring in realistic form as she is in cartoon form. I’m kidding, Marge could never not be a stone cold fox, even without those bedroom googly eyes of hers. I’m just thankful Hossein didn’t decide to do Marge’s sisters too. I mean boners are already hard enough to come by these days. “You’ve gotta stop drinking weed killer.” You think that has something to do with it?

Keep going for a video of each family member, and Mr. Burns, as well as a video of Hossein actually creating the Homer model.

Source: Geekologie – Artist Imagines Simpsons Characters In Real Life

Three young brothers aged 8, 10 and 12 in Bolivia learned the hard way that comic books are a lie after taking turns being bitten by a black widow in an attempt to gain Spider-Man like superpowers. Admittedly, not the dumbest thing I’ve heard of someone doing, not even just today, including adults. Details:

The boys started experiencing symptoms within a few minutes and their concerned mother rushed them to a local health center where their conditions continued to worsen and they were taken to a hospital in Llallagua.

The next day they were transferred to the Children’s Hospital in La Paz, where they were admitted with fever, tremours, sweating and muscular pain, Pietro said.

The boys were successfully treated at the hospital and were able to be discharged a week later.

Pietro said the incident should be taken as a warning that ‘for children everything is real, movies are real’.

It was a valiant effort, but what those kids didn’t realize is *letting spider crawl through glow stick liquid I’ve poured onto table* is the spider has to be radioactive first. “That’s a stink bug, and there’s nothing radioactive about glow sticks.” Whatever *letting bug crawl on chest* ten bucks says I’m weaving nipple-silk by 5PM Eastern.

Thanks to Christopher C, who agrees you don’t know till you try, and even then you can’t be sure you didn’t just do it wrong.

Source: Geekologie – Good Effort: Three Young Brothers Hospitalized After Taking Turns Getting Bitten By Black Widow To Gain Superpowers

This is a video of nine members of a Finnish cycling team attempting to charge a Tesla Model X’s battery with twenty minutes of pedaling. The end result? SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER: enough juice to power the vehicle for an additional 2-kilometers (1.24-miles). For reference, that would get me TO the nearest beer store, but not back, which *steals keys, fills backpack with ice* I’ll okay with.

Keep going for the video while I wonder why those cyclists didn’t just tow me to the beer store in the first place.

Source: Geekologie – Nine Members Of Cycling Team Attempt To Charge Tesla Battery With Pedal Power

This is a TikTok video of musician Kurt Hugo Schneider and a friend performing a-ha’s timeless banger ‘Take On Me’ on the buttons of one of those newfangled washing machines (they should have called it ‘Take On My Dirty Whites’). It must be nice having a fancy musical washing machine like that. What did it cost, a million bucks? Me? I still wash my clothes in the river by beating them with a rock the way an otter does to open a clam. “That’s not how you do it.” Admittedly, my favorite jeans do still look like they were shit recently.

Keep going for the video while I speculate what wash settings you’re left with performing the whole song.

Source: Geekologie – Guy Performs a-ha’s Classic ‘Take On Me’ With Buttons Of Fancy New Washing Machine

In where the hell was my ‘You shall not pass’ warning, this is a chart created by someone who can almost certainly expect an eternity of damnation detailing the unholy mashup faces of various Lord Of The Rings characters. Some of those faces — wow. Still, if you had to have sex with one, who would you choose? “Why not all of them?” Hoho! *high-five*

Thanks to my friend becca b, who informed me Legodalf was her personal favorite. Honestly, anything that’s half Legolas is A-okay in my book.

Source: Geekologie – The Unholy Lord Of The Rings Character Face Mashup Chart

This is the very appetizing looking cheeseburger lingerie set crafted by New Zealand dressmaker and costumier Estelle Peacock (great name for a dressmaker and costumier, btw). As you can see, this particularly delicious ensemble has got all the fixings of a cheeseburger: sesame seed bun bra and panties with burger patty, tomato, cheese, ketchup and lettuce accents, lettuce garters, and, the real icing on the cake — pickle pasties. I asked my girlfriend if she’d ever wear it and she said no so I made a sad face and told her I thought she was my cheeseburger. She insisted she is my cheeseburger so I told her well then you should start dressing like one and that’s when I’m pretty sure she changed the payment method for whatever she was buying on Amazon to my debit card.

Keep going for a few more shots.

Source: Geekologie – Extra Pickles Please: Custom Cheeseburger Lingerie Set

Now I know Andy Serkis recently read the entirety of The Hobbit online to raise money for charity and used his Gollum voice for the Gollum parts, but this is not that. This is a video of a guy doing a Gollum impression and reading the whole first chapter of The Hobbit over the course of an hour. Obviously, if you significant other doesn’t bat an eye when you put this on for a hot and heavy make-out session they definitely love you, but you should still consider breaking up because they’re a freak.

Keep going for the video, and if you’re into this you can explore the Gollum Reads Youtube channel for Gollum reading a variety of different children’s books.

Source: Geekologie – Guy Reads First Chapter Of The Hobbit Entirely In Gollum Voice

This is a year timelapse of some weirdo’s fingernails growing and being cut over the course of a year. “They should have never trimmed it. Right? WE DEMAND COMMITMENT. Compared to mine those are some slow-growing nails. I’m not sure if it was all the milk I drank growing up, but if I didn’t cut my nails at least every two weeks I would have talons and my girlfriend would probably never ask me for a massage ever again *light bulb goes off in head, throws nail clippers in river* As someone pointed out in the Youtube comments, the nail isn’t even where the most fascinating action is, it’s watching the cuticle change over time. Also if you masturbated watching this I want you to delete my number from your phone.

Keep going for the full year experience.

Source: Geekologie – How Fascinating: A Year Timelapse Of Someone’s Fingernails Growing And Repeatedly Being Cut

This is a video of AP exam taker Wyatt Howell finally managing to finally submit his test with only four seconds left due to a crappy internet connection and the presumably large photo files he’d attached. Obviously, it reminds me a lot of the time I didn’t turn in my AP test at all because I thought it was next Saturday.

Keep going for the nail-biter.

Source: Geekologie – Down To The Wire: Video Of Guy Submitting AP Exam With 4 Seconds Left Due To Slow Internet

This is a video of London-based cellist Samara Ginsberg performing a multitrack cover of the Knight Rider theme on cello. I also included her same-style cover of the Imperial March. You may recall Samara’s previously posted cover of the Inspector Gadget theme a couple weeks ago, or you may not because your brain is garbage like mine just waiting get ransacked by a family of raccoons tonight.

Keep going for the videos (including the original Knight Rider theme for reference) while I suggest Gilligan’s Island next.

Source: Geekologie – Get It, KITT: A Multitrack Cover Of The Knight Rider Theme On Cello

This is the Seat of Death Grim Reaper Throne Chair created by Design Tuscano. It weighs 84-pounds, costs $1,200 and looks like Death asked you to sit on his lap like Santa and tell him what you want for your last meal. Obviously, I believe it was designed to serve as social commentary about how sitting is a silent killer that has serious health ramifications. And what more serious health ramification is there than death? “I think you’re reading too deep into this.” Too deep, or not deep enough? “Speaking of — how deep do you think those skull armrest eye sockets are?” Alright, that’s enough out of you, pervert.

Keep going for a few more shots. Honestly, I was already tiptoeing into my roommate’s room to borrow his wallet until I saw the chair’s profile and realized how flat it is. That was a deal breaker for me, I demand realism.

Source: Geekologie – The Bone Throne: Finally, A Decent Grim Reaper Chair

This is a series of illustrations by artist Ed Harrington in the style of wordless IKEA furniture instructions for creating a bunch of famous movie monsters and villains (plus a few good guys). As you can see, they all require the ol’ IKEA assembly tool (part # 100001). And, if you have a mind like an elephant who isn’t constantly getting drunk on peanut liquor, you may recall we actually posted the beginning of this series all the way back in 2015. But, just like your problems in 2020, now there are a whole bunch more of them.

Keep going for 25 more.

Source: Geekologie – A Gallery Of IKEA Style Instructions For How To Create Famous Movie Monsters And Villains

Are you the world’s biggest Rubik’s Cube fan? Well now you can prove it with this Rubik’s Cube style toilet paper dispenser from getDigital and available on Amazon ($26). It looks like a Rubik’s Cube and dispenses the paper you’re about to wipe your butt with, and, occasionally, the paper you’re about to kill a bug with. Me? I don’t kill bugs, I catch them and let them outside because there’s a good chance I’ll be demoted come my next reincarnation, and I’d like to think someone won’t just squash me in a wad of double-ply, toss me in the toilet, and pee on me before flushing. “How did you–” It’s what everyone does.

Keep going for a couple more shots.

Source: Geekologie – Real Products That Exist: A Rubik’s Cube Toilet Paper Dispenser