This is a video of former NASA engineer Mark Rober discussing and then tackling the challenge of filling a pool entirely with Jello, which all needs to be boiled and then chilled in order to set. How does he do it? SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER: Not with a bunch of tanned bikini babes and hunks in banana hammocks passing buckets like I suspected. “Suspected, or was really hoping for?” Was really hoping for.
Keep going for the video while I wonder what it was like a day later.
Source: Geekologie – Problem Solving: How To Fill A Pool With 15 Tons Of Jello
Because what better way to feel the wind between your teeth, this is a video of a man clinging spread-eagle style to the top of a Honda Civic while in traffic. Unfortunately, the video was published without context so I have no clue what the hell is going on here. Is that a meter maid’s fluorescent vest? Maybe he jumped on the person’s car when they tried to speed away without taking their ticket. Or maybe he’s a construction worker who almost (or did) get hit because somebody didn’t slow down in a work zone. Or maybe, just MAYBE (and don’t forget the simplest answer is often the right one), this man is a sunroof now.
Keep going for the video. And remember that while holding onto a moving vehicle, just like when being in a failing relationship, it’s important to know when to let go.
Source: Geekologie – Another Day, Another Lunatic Clinging To The Top Of A Moving Car
Mmmm, 7-layer bars.
This is the 64-ounce Doctor Who TARDIS coffee mug available from ThinkGeek. For reference, that’s a half gallon, or my average daily intake of chocolate milk. It weighs a pound empty and costs $25. Although if you really need to slam a half gallon of go-go juice in the morning just to start functioning, I’m fairly certain it’s time to turn away from your coffee mug and turn to butt-chugging. It’s fast, it’s efficient, and it’s– wait, why are you laughing? “Your funnel, it’s still…” Dammit, my girlfriend thinks it’s hysterical to let me leave the house like this.
Keep going for a shot of the mug with no additional decor.
Source: Geekologie – Almost Too Big On The Inside: A 64-Ounce TARDIS Coffee Mug
This is the $48 hoodie available from GearHuman that was printed to look like Elvis’s classic ‘Aloha Eagle’ jumpsuit worn on tour in 1973 and 1974. I’m going to buy one. I’m going to buy one, and I’m going to eat all the peanut butter & banana sandwiches while wearing it. Will I also die on the toilet? For the sake of my girlfriend, I hope not.
Keep going for a shot of the back in case you feel like your rear is your better side. Personally, I feel like my rear is my only side.
Source: Geekologie – A Hoodie Version Of Elvis’s Iconic ‘Aloha Eagle’ Jumpsuit
This is a video of professional street trials/mountain bike rider Danny Macaskill (previously) ripping down some Scottish mountains with a pull-behind baby carrier in tow. Obviously, there’s no baby in the carrier when he’s going extreme, only a doll. Still, it’s fun to watch and pretend I just sent a similar video to my sister because I’m babysitting my nephew while she’s out to a nice dinner with her husband. I can almost hear her car peeling out of the restaurant.
Keep going for the video.
Source: Geekologie – Responsible Babysitting: Mountain Biker Does Some Extreme Riding With Tow-Behind Baby Carrier
Zero willpower? Enter this $130 – $210 (depend on lid color — wait what? this looks like $30 tops) time-locking plastic safe available from Amazon Japan. I believe it was originally designed to keep kids away from cookies until after dinner, but has since become a distracting technology solution. That’s cool, I’ll just stare at it until it unlocks. Ooooor knock it onto the floor and break it. *picking up Playstation controller* The cat did it, mom. “We haven’t had a cat in years.” She’s just a really good hider – how else would you explain the shredded curtains or all the turds in the basement? “You?” Admittedly, this con sounded a lot more foolproof in my mind.
Keep going for one more shot of what setting the timer on a regretful purchase looks like.
Source: Geekologie – Iffy: A Clear Safe For Locking Your Distracting Gadgets Away From Yourself
This is a video of former FBI agent and body language expert Joe Navarro explaining how we use non-verbal communication, and how to read some of the information people knowingly and unknowingly present. I learned a few things by watching it, but mostly because it was fifteen minutes long and if you can watch something for fifteen minutes and not take anything away from it, it was probably reality television. Of course the only real piece of body language you need to know is if we’re both stripping naked as fast as we can, we’re probably about to get, well…you know. “Ketchup and mustard all over ourselves.” Don’t forget the relish!
Keep going for the video, which concludes with some poker tells.
Source: Geekologie – Valuable Information: Former FBI Agent Explains How To Read Body Language
Aaaand we’re back. Man, that was a hell of a three days. Let’s just dive right back in, shall we?
Because nobody likes taking shitty photos except me whenever some so-called friends ask me to take a group shot without me in it, this is a video of the $200 Canon 470EX-AI, a DSLR mounted flash for indoor photography that uses AI to detect just the right spot to bounce the flash to prevent washout and shadows. Of course if you don’t know where to bounce a flash yourself maybe it’s time to accept the idea that making some extra money ruining peoples’ wedding portraits isn’t such a good idea. I’m kidding, go for it — it’s not like it’s your special day.
Keep going for a video demo.
Source: Geekologie – Smart: A Camera Flash That Uses AI To Detect The Best Place To Bounce Its Light
Hey guys I’m still not 100% today but I’m going to see what I can manage but in the event I go missing I should be back tomorrow with a fresh coat of paint. This is a video of Canadian astronaut David Saint-Jacques demonstrating how honey reacts in microgravity. Interesting, but how does it TASTE in microgravity? “The same.” But you don’t know that for sure.
Keep going for the video.
Source: Geekologie – Neato: How Honey Reacts In Microgravity
Because what good is a killer drone if it can’t dodge a projectile hurled from a member of the human resistance, this is a video from the University of Zurich’s Robotics and Perception Group of an autonomous quadropter that uses motion sensors to dodge balls thrown at it. “But can it dodge a wrench?” I don’t understand the reference. Some more info:
“These are sensors that are not good at interpreting a scene visually like a regular camera, but they’re extremely sensitive to motion, responding to changes in a scene on a per-pixel basis in microseconds. A regular camera that detects motion by comparing one frame with another takes milliseconds to do the same thing, which might not seem like much, but for a fast-moving drone it could easily be the difference between crashing into something and avoiding it successfully.”
Obviously, our only hope of defeating the killer drones of the future will be throwing multiple objects at them simultaneously and hoping they can’t dodge them all. Will we all wind up skewered by friendly-fired spears? Probably. Except me — I’ll probably be speared on purpose when I’m found eating all the rations in the supply closet after I lied and said I’d take night guard duty.
Keep going for the video.
Source: Geekologie – The End Nears: Drone Programmed To Dodge Balls Thrown At It
This is a video of world champion scooterer Dante Hutchinson backflipping down the iconic El Toro 20 at El Toro High School in Lake Forest, California. For reference, just like a tin of Planters, that’s entirely nuts. That was a RISKY MANEUVER, and he just barely manages to clear them all. You know I remember when I used to go out skateboarding with friends in high school my buddy Eli always used to yell GO BIG OR GO HOME even though I’d already made my choice and called my mom for a ride like a half hour prior.
Keep going for the full video, complete with celebratory aftermath.
Source: Geekologie – Dare To Dream: Scooter Backflip Down 20 Stairs
This is a short video of 70-year old Florida Man (I had no idea Florida Man could even survive that long) Leonard Olsen Jr. hanging out the sunroof of his Cadillac while cruising down Interstate 4 in Hillsborough County like he’s the bride-to-be in a limo during a bachelorette party. He was eventually arrested for the behavior, but claimed it was safe because “the car drives itself and has a gigantic computer in it.” And why was he doing this in the first place? Oh, you know, because he “thought it would be a nice way to praise God for a minute.” Granted I’m pretty sure that’s an even better way to meet God, but whatever. Could things get weirder? Let’s see, according to Florida Highway Patrolman:
“Mr. Olsen stated that he wanted to turn himself in to an ‘official’ and asked if he could turn himself in to me. When asked ‘why do you want to do that?’ Mr. Olsen stated ‘My wife treats me like a servant and she’s the mistress and I’m tired of this s—,'” the report reads.
Olsen later told Binet that he would rather be sent to jail than to return home.
Well that was a twist. Are you taking notes, M. Night Shyamalan? Florida Man knows how to flip the script. Of course I’m not convinced he was actually praising God or tired of the way his wife treats him, I think he just wanted to feel like Rose in Titanic but was too Florida Man to admit it. Remember, *packing Sherlock pipe with pencil shavings* the simplest answer is often the correct one.
Keep going for the video.
Source: Geekologie – 70-Year Old Florida Man Stands Through Sunroof And Spreads His Wings While Cruising Down Interstate
Because church isn’t entirely about getting reprimanded for drinking too much blood at communion, this is a video of the annual Rouketopolemos fireworks battle between two rival congregations on the Greek island of Chios. The 50,000+ firework battle takes place the night before Easter every year and, from what I gathered from the video, the object is to try to hit Hogwarts Castle as many times as possible.
Keep going for the, with a bunch of different angles of the battle.
Source: Geekologie – Heck Yeah: Video From This Year’s Easter Fireworks Battle In Chios, Greece
This is a video (audio with still images) of an artificial intelligence voice synthesizer created by machine learning engineers Hashiam Kadhim, Joe Palermo and Rayhane Mama using Joe Rogan’s voice as a model. Everything you hear in the clip is the result of a deep-learning system they developed called RealTalk, which converts any text typed into the model’s authentic sounding voice (it even does some tongue-twisters). Some pros and cons of the technology as imagined by Medium:
– Talking to a voice assistant in a way that feels as natural as talking to a friend
– Customized voice applications – for instance, a workout app that contains a personalized pre-workout pep talk from Arnold Schwarzenegger
– Improved accessibility options for people that communicate through text-to-speech devices, for example, people with Lou Gehrig’s disease
-Automating voice dubbing for any media and in any language
– Spam callers impersonating your mother or spouse to obtain personal information
– Impersonating someone for the purposes of bullying or harassment
– Gaining entrance to high security clearance areas by impersonating a government official
– An ‘audio deepfake’ of a politician being used to manipulate election results or cause a social uprising
I didn’t even think about all that, all I could think about is how awesome my cell phone voice mail greeting is about to get. “Even better than the current one that says you’re probably in the bathroom and then you hear a toilet flush then a bunch of cursing and screaming?” Haha, my legs fell asleep and I crashed into the towel bar trying to stand up. But you’re right — equal but different.
Keep going for the video.
Source: Geekologie – Machine Learning Engineers Use AI To Create Near-Perfect AI Simulation Of Joe Rogan’s Voice
This is a video news report showing some not very great footage of a US Air National Guard F-16 fighter jet crashing into a warehouse near the March Air Reserve Base in Riverside County, California. Apparently the pilot ejected following hydraulic problems that caused him to lose control of the plane. Thankfully (and amazingly), there were no serious injuries in the crash, although a dozen warehouse workers were treated for minor cuts as a result of falling debris. Now, according to the internet the value of an F-16 is estimated to be between $25 and 30-million dollars, so that was an expensive crash. Maybe not as expensive as me crashing into a parked car on one of those electric scooters that are everywhere, but my life is priceless. “Your mom tried to bet you on a turtle race.” I meant to me — my life is priceless to me.
Keep going for the video news report, as well as a better video of the damage from inside the warehouse from a worker there.
Source: Geekologie – Damn: F-16 Fighter Jet Crashes Into Warehouse
This is a video of 15-year old Maya watching her older sister Michelle give birth to her second baby girl. *opens desk drawer, pulls tequila bottle from underneath file folder, takes a slug* Nothing can ever prepare you for that. Some more info:
As delivery approached, one of the delivery nurses tugged her over to the foot of the bed so she could get a full view of the birthing process. She shared so many mixed emotions in a very short time frame! She stated she was in pain as she watched the baby’s head coming out. As baby’s head emerged, her expression turned to disbelief and shock, then amniotic fluid sprayed everywhere and on everyone. As baby continued to make her way into this world, relief and joy came over her. She tearfully gazed at her sister and new baby niece as love and joy overtook her.
I thought she did incredibly well. And I’m not just saying that because I would have passed out, but I would have passed out. I even passed out watching the childbirth video in 10th grade health class, and I have a scar on the side of my head where I hit the leg of the desk next to mine to prove it. *shrug* I guess at least they weren’t still teaching that storks bring them.
Keep going for the roller coaster of emotions.
Source: Geekologie – All The Emotions: Girl Witnesses Childbirth For The First Time
Because the internets, just like my girlfriend’s eyes when she tries to take me out to a fancy dinner and I act like the wild animal that I am, never stop rolling, this is a video of a tiny Shrek running a dog agility course, as edited by Twitter user chanbanhi (with a bunch of other fun edits). It is definitely one of my favorite videos to come out of the internet in recent history. Still, no word how Shrek placed, but my guess is *slipping on cool guy shades* Best In Showgre. Well? “Well what?” My back isn’t going to pat itself! (Although my penis did manage to tie itself in a knot once on a water slide)
Keep going for the video.
Source: Geekologie – Thanks, Internet!: Tiny Shrek Runs Dog Agility Course
This is a heartwarming video from a children’s karate class of young Ethan, who’s having trouble breaking a board with a heel-kick and starts crying he’s so upset about it. He doesn’t give up though, and with the advice and encouragement of his sensei and the deafening cheers of his fellow karate kids, he finally manages to split it. Man, that must have been a victorious feeling. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt one of those before. “I bet the instructor helped break it.” You turd, I will fight you right now I swear and *wraps hands, dips in glue, then bucketful of jagged soup can lids* I learned from Master Shredder.
Keep going for the video.
Source: Geekologie – Awww: Entire Kids Karate Class Cheers On Struggling Classmate Until He Breaks Board
This is the Taco Train Taco Holder created by Fyve and available on Amazon. A train engine and cargo car combo will set you back $17, with additional cargo cars available for $11 apiece. Each engine has space for two tacos, and each cargo car three tacos, and two compartments for chips and salsa/guacamole/cheese/whatever. Plus, contrary to what I expected, they’re actually dishwasher safe. *immediately slams four tacos with ultra-hot sauce, picks up intercom* Attention all passengers: this is the Express Train to Diarrheatown, we’ll be making emergency stops at every public restroom between here and my home. Expect delays, and remind me to stay hydrated.
Keep going for a couple more shots including a family having a picnic and imagining the Taco Train that was Photoshopped into the image later is actually there.
Source: Geekologie – All Aboard!: The Taco Train Taco Holder
This is the Six Foot F-35 Kite available from Hammacher Schlemmer. It looks like a Lockheed Martin F-35 Lightning II fighter jet, measures 66″ long x 71″ wide x 8″ high (so it’s six feet in width, not length) and costs $130. Obviously, I plan on flying one over my lair at all times to let my enemies know I’m very well protected. “And you’re convinced they’ll think it’s a real jet.” Of course, my enemies are the stupidest. “GW…are you your own worst enemy?” I don’t have to answer that but yes, why?
Thanks to Christopher K, who agrees let’s go fly a kite, up to the highest height.
Source: Geekologie – Sure, Why Not?: A 6-Foot Kite That Looks Like An F-35 Fighter Jet