Because there are no sports left to commentate, this is a video of BBC sportscaster Andrew Cotter proving he can make anything even remotely resembling a competition sound as exciting as if you’ve got next month’s rent riding on the outcome by providing a play-by-play of his two labradors Olive and Mabel eating their dinner. That was some quality work. And not just by the lady who tells him to “Get on with it” right at the beginning of the video, but also by Olive and Mabel. Oh, right, and Andrew. But mostly the sassy lady at the beginning.
Keep going for the feel-good video and “tasting absolutely nothing.”
Source: Geekologie – BBC Sports Broadcaster Provides Fantastic Play-By-Play Of His Dogs’ Dinner Eating Competition
This is a video of a priest in Italy live-streaming mass due to the coronavirus after accidentally activating the auto-changing video filters. He even briefly looks like Don Novello’s Father Guido Sarducci made famous on SNL. Obviously, a fair amount of you will be convinced it’s fake because you’re too jaded to believe there’s any magic left in this world. To which I say *blowing dust in face* I disagree. “What was that?!” No clue, but it made the guy I saw snorting it in his car get naked and run into traffic, so I’m guessing you’re about to believe.
Keep going for the full video, but you aren’t missing much with just the gif.
Source: Geekologie – Italian Priest Performs Live-Stream Mass Due To Coronavirus, Accidentally Leaves Video Filters On
This is a video of 30-year old father Cao Junjie of Shanghai showing off the Death Stranding bridge baby inspired pod he modded from one of those clear cat carriers to help protect his newborn from the coronavirus. The system includes a carrying pod with gloved hand hole for scaring the baby, an air-filter and air-quality monitor to make sure there isn’t a buildup of carbon dioxide in the pod, and the unit appears to include some sort of Umbrella Corporation brand ventilator. Hoho, a Death Stranding/Resident Evil baby carrying mashup. This will all end well. Alternatively, carry your kid around in a traditional pet carrier and remind them to snarl at people to keep their distance. *shrug* That’s what I plan on doing with my neph– oh, no, my sister’s shaking her head no.
Keep going for the video.
Source: Geekologie – Father Mods Cat Carrier Into ‘Death Stranding’ Inspired Pod To Protect Baby From Coronavirus
This is the ‘Filing Saucer’ (very clever) paperclip dispenser available from Fred (a fairly reasonable $12). Thanks to a magnet in the bottom of the UFO, it looks like the aliens are actually abducting cow shaped paperclips. At least until you run out of cow shaped paperclips and replace them with regular ones, then it just looks like the aliens are just abducting regular paper clips, and now why would aliens be abducting regular paper clips? It doesn’t make any sense!
Keep going for a couple more shots in case those might affect your purchase decision.
Source: Geekologie – Flying Saucer Abducting Cows Paperclip Holder
This is the helmetcam footage from a BASE jumper in Switzerland whose “canopy opened facing the cliff and I got twisted under the canopy on opening. Had no time to react, hit the cliff and made my way down along the cliff for about 80-90 meters and came to rest in a shallow river. Did not break any bones, got away with contusions and bruises.” Well that’s a relief. So is a canopy opening facing the cliff considered user error or what? Did he pack the parachute backwards? I don’t know anything about this stuff because I prefer my feet on the ground and penis spinning like a prize wheel at the fair. Also, if somebody could please add the audio of this guy’s painful grunts from 0:16 – 0:32 as he’s falling down the cliff into a round of Street Fighter that would be fantastic.
Keep going for the full video.
Source: Geekologie – Yikes: BASE Jumper Has Parachute Mishap, Smacks And Flips Down Cliff Into River
This is a video of talented pianist (hey I’ve got one too HIYO kidding total amateur) Vinheteiro performing the Tetris theme (aka the nineteenth-century Russian folk song ‘Korobeiniki’) in every key so you can hear the difference. So, what was your favorite key? My favorite key *fluttering eyelashes* is the one to your heart. Granted once I unlocked that door and saw what was inside I was disgusted, but the key is pretty so I wear half of it around my neck. “And the other half?” Mount Doomed.
Keep going for the video.
Source: Geekologie – Pianist Plays Tetris Theme In Every Key So We Can Hear The Difference
Hoho — I’ve seen that look before!
This is a video of the fun-loving mechanics over at Garage 54 attempting to weld “the quietest exhaust system” using a total of nine mufflers (after previously attaching a single muffler to each individual cylinder, video of that included as well). The result is not as quiet as I expected, but the car also doesn’t have a hood anymore and is, at least what most people would consider, a piece of shit to begin with. Also what’s up with wanting to make a quiet exhaust system? Is there a demand for that? Because it seems like everybody that drives by my apartment wants their car to sound like a dirt bike followed by someone throwing a handful of popcorn into a bonfire.
Keep going for the video.
Source: Geekologie – Dare To Dream: Welding A Nine Muffler ‘Super Quiet’ Exhaust System
Note: The visual is cool, the audio not so much. Do with that info what you will.
This is a short video of a helicopter coming in for a landing with its rotor’s rotation speed synced with the filming camera’s framerate, making it appear to not be rotating at all. Or, who knows, maybe the helicopter is just broken. Do I look like some sort of helicopter mechanci to you? Or maybe — just maybe, helicopters are actually powered by magic like I always suspected but was afraid to ask for fear of getting bumped off by the government. You have to admit how they’re able to fly doesn’t actually make much sense unless you’re some sort of nerd.
Keep going for the full video while I demand anybody in the office who claims to understand how helicopters fly to explain it to me like you would a third grader.
Source: Geekologie – Helicopter Rotor Appears To Not Spin Due To RPM Synced With Camera’s Framerate
This is the Kickstarter campaign for the Building Brick Waffle Maker, a novelty waffle maker that creates LEGO style blocks for building your own breakfast. The $50 waffle maker creates ten 2 x 1 blocks, two 4 x 1’s, and two 1 x 1’s in a single making, and for an additional $25 you can get two silicone eating plates with a 6 x 6 stud grid to start building your waffle tower. So…yeah, to build anything decent enough to warrant a new wonder of the world consideration you’re going to have to fill that thing quite a few times. And in that time your waffles will get cold. Also, at one point in their life does a person decide their waffle tower building has moved past cutting and stacking their own pieces and into ‘I’m novelty waffle maker deep in this hobby’ territory? Asking for a friend stacking cut Eggos for dinner the third time this week.
Keep going for a couple more shots of the delicious possibilities.
Source: Geekologie – Waffle Houses: A Waffle Iron That Makes LEGO-Like Building Blocks
This is a video captured by caretaker Nicole Marie at the Grizzly Bear Refuge near Golden, Canada of orphaned grizzly bear Boo Grizzly awakening and digging out from hibernation. Apparently it’s the first time since they’ve actually been able to capture the moment in the past eight years of trying due to a string of alleged technological failures. Perseverance! You know what they say about that. “It pays off?” *continuing to try jamming square peg in round hole* Haha, no, that’s not it.
Keep going for the complete emergence, just like a butterfly from its chrysalis.
Source: Geekologie – Woman Finally Captures Rescue Bear’s Digging Out From Hibernation For First Time On Video, Is Thrilled About It
This is ‘Ignoring physical laws in stop motion’, a worth-a-watch video of some playing card dealing and tricks all performed with the magic of stop motion (no computer graphics, not even at the wild ending). So, just so we’re being perfectly clear, there weren’t actually any physical laws being broken. UNLIKE RIGHT NOW — HIYO! “Oh nice, the detachable thumb trick.” Fun fact: I’m not actually breaking any physical laws either, the trick actually involves an acute understanding and manipulation of small wormholes. “Ooh ooh, let me–” Sorry, no penises.
Keep going for the video while I pick your card.
Source: Geekologie – ‘Physics Defying’ Stop Motion Playing Card Fun
This is a video of Youtuber and replica maker Jarius For All constructing and swinging some real life Blades Of Chaos from the God Of War series. It’s actually a six-part video series but I only posted the first and last of them (the first links to all six with the upper right hand corner playlist button) because I may be quarantined, but dammit, my time is still valuable. I’ve already watched them all twice. Man, I’ve always wanted to swing those blades so bad. Kratos makes it look effortless, but Jarius, well…Jarius makes it look like you’d be hard pressed to split a motionless milk jug if your life depended on it. And by you and your I mean you and your, because I would slice through those milk jugs like Medusa heads. Did I tell you about the time I tied a hatchet to the end of jump rope and swung it around the kitchen? My mom is gonna freak when she gets home.
Keep going for the videos.
Source: Geekologie – Guy Builds And Swings Real Life Blades Of Chaos From God Of War
This is a short video from a group of Indonesian divers off Beqa Island in Fiji last year who had a harrowing encounter with a tiger shark, which tried to bite one of their heads off like you would a chocolate Easter bunny’s. Yikes! Some more details while I never step foot or penis in the ocean again:
“The shark turned to bite the divers and my friend was the unlucky one.”
“At that time all the dive masters rushed to push her away, but it was already too late.
“His head was in the shark’s mouth and later the dive master managed to kick her away.
“While the shark was leaving, the victim’s mask and hoodie were pulled off.”
She claimed that the victim lay on the seabed and held his regulator calmly.
She said the victim was sent to a local clinic immediately with an eight centimetre long and 0.5 centimetre deep wound on his head according to medical report.
Damn, all that and only an 8-centimeter by 0.5-centimeter wound? Maybe it didn’t actually get the whole head and just got part of the neck, because that’s like a paper cut when it comes to shark attacks. I’m just saying, I’ve seen Jaws. “Have you though, GW?” Hell no, I value taking aromatheraputic bubble baths without fear for my life.
Keep going for three different angles of the attack, which are intense.
Source: Geekologie – WTF!: Tiger Shark Goes After Diver’s Head Before Being Fought Off By Dive Master
This is a video from Youtube channel Macro Universe of a variety of everyday objects viewed through a macro lens, including “a disposable razor, a spool of thread, a peanut M&M, a bottle of Coca-Cola, a sponge, a bar of soap and toilet paper.” Which, be honest — how many of you tried wiping with your laptop when you saw that toilet paper? It’s just been so long I’ve forgotten what it feels like. Like a hug. Yeah *rubbing laptop between butt cheeks like swiping a credit card* just like a hug.
Keep going for the video.
Source: Geekologie – Hidden Worlds: Everyday Objects Viewed With A Macro Lens
This is a video from a Tim Horton’s in London of some idiot spray sanitizing the top of his coffee cup (but mostly the interior of the restaurant), then removing the lid, tossing it through the drive-thru window, and cursing at the person behind him who had the nerve to honk because this jerk is either too lazy or stupid to make coffee at home. This has to be some incredibly dumbass prank though, right? Like this guy doesn’t actually exist in the world, does he? I’m just…I’m just tired of all the killing. There’s so much planning and cleanup involved. Then stressing about whether the handsome detectives are really onto you or not. “You really have one hell of an imagination, GW.” *dumping black trash bags in apartment complex dumpster across town* Oh totally.
Keep going for the video.
Source: Geekologie – Maniac Spray Sanitizing Drive-Thru Coffee Cup, Tosses Lid Back Inside Store, Curses Person Behind Him For Honking
This is a video of NBC Montana reporter Deion Broxton briefly keeping it cool as a cucumber as he’s approached by a herd of bison outside Yellowstone National Park before deciding to retreat to his car’s hatchback for safety. He then emerged a brief time later to get another video of the bison once they’ve moved off to a safer distance. Hey, I would have done the exact same thing. If I’m gonna be required to fight off a herd of wild bison on live TV I better be getting paid the big bucks. I’m talking like Pay-Per-View dollars, which, at least in my mind, are oversized like lottery checks.
Keep going for the videos.
Source: Geekologie – TV Reporter Does It Best To Play It Cool As He’s Approached By A Herd Of Bison
This is the Kickstarter campaign for the Hygiene Hand, an antimicrobial brass keychain EDC (every day carry) tool that allows you to push elevator, gas pump and ATM buttons without any direct skin contact, and open public restroom lever-handled doors (or any lever handled door). It costs $21 and they hope to start shipping as early as May. Will the world be long gone by then? It will be if I have anything to do with it. “Wait, what?” *gently caressing big red button with fingertip* Nothing — just daydreaming. “But what about that big red button?” It’s a fart machine. If I had a real big red button we wouldn’t be having this conversation, not even ten years ago.
Keep going for the Hygiene Hand’s Kickstarter video and no, it’s not for butts no matter how badly you want it to be.
Source: Geekologie – Brass ‘Hygiene Hand’ For Avoiding Touching Public Doors, Buttons
This is the alleged world’s largest jigsaw puzzle, a 28.5 foot x 6.25 foot behemoth from Kodak that contains 51,300 pieces, costs $440 and weighs 40 pounds. It’s kind of a chintzy world’s biggest puzzle though because it’s actually 27 smaller AND INDIVIDUALLY BAGGED 1,900 piece puzzles of various wonders of the world that can then all be attached. I think that’s kind of cheating. Me? I’m currently working on a 1,000 piece puzzle while I’m trapped inside clawing at the walls. Hold on I’ll find a link. It’s this one, of Cinque Terre, Italy. Beautiful isn’t it? If only my dog hadn’t eaten a mouthful of pieces already I’d be tempted to frame it. *shrug* Instead I’ll have no choice but to pass it on to a friend or family member and insist it’s complete.
Keep going for a couple more shots.
Source: Geekologie – Quarantined?: Do This 51,300 Piece, 28.5 Foot x 6.25 Foot Jigsaw Puzzle
This is a short video from Constanța, Romania of a train engineer who stopped his locomotive at a railway crossing so he could go grab a coffee from a corner store. Or, who knows, maybe he needed to make an emergency run to the restroom. We’ve all been there. *flushes, takes remainder of toilet paper roll* I’m there now.
Keep going for the video.
Source: Geekologie – I Need My Choo Choo Juice: Train Engineer Stops Train To Grab Coffee
Note: This is only the top 15, full list HERE.
This is a chart created by the folks at TitleMax showing the fifty highest grossing video game franchises to date. SPOILER: Pokemon. Everything pales in comparison to Pokemon, even Mario, who had a fifteen year head start on the pocket monsters. That’s crazy. If I could go back in time I’d invent Pokemon, then, knowing my business acumen, run it into the ground before it ever stood a chance to make a dollar. Then I’d have to go even further back in time and smack myself with a tire iron.
Thanks to Cyndi M, who agrees the best video game franchise of all time remains Monkey Island.
Source: Geekologie – Learning By Looking: Chart Of The 50 Highest Grossing Video Game Franchises