Woman Recording Video Birthday Message On Phone Pulls Out Of Parking Spot, Immediately Gets In Accident

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This is a video of a cool aunt recording a birthday message for Marge (aka Large Marge In Charge — she must love that nickname) on her na-na-na-na-na-nineteenth birthday while parked at a strip mall, then proceeding to sing happy birthday and exit her parking space prior to finishing the message and immediately getting into an accident. Jesus, Marge, is that what you wished for — a fender bender? “Did you not hear my nickname? Besides, she videos and drives too much.” Valid. Really it’s just nice to know I’m not the only one who still makes shameful birthday wishes.

Keep going for the video.

Source: Geekologie – Woman Recording Video Birthday Message On Phone Pulls Out Of Parking Spot, Immediately Gets In Accident

Cat Plays With Newton's Cradle Desktop Toy

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This is a video of Pickle the rescue cat seemingly understanding and playing with a Newton’s Cradle desktop toy. Some more info from Pickle’s caretaker while I try to untangle all the balls on mine (I go absolutely nuts on that thing sometimes, like I’m trying to send a friend over the top bar of a swing set):

[Pickle] e has no front teeth so he is unable to keep his tongue inside his mouth making him even cuter. … Pickle did it all on his own and started playing with the Newton’s Cradle. At first, he was just trying to eat the balls and then realized when he lets go, it starts swinging. He then didn’t stop doing it and also started to pick up when he had done it wrong, as you can see in the video and stopped the swinging, trying again.

Admittedly, he does seem to know what he’s doing. Now I’m not saying this cat understands physics, but I’m also not saying I understand physics. Or any of the other sciences or math, although based on a series of Youtube videos I was watching last night at 4AM I am convinced there are at least 26 dimensions.

Keep going for the video (which does contain an f-bomb at 0:10 which I mistook for one of my own coworkers at first), and try to tell me that isn’t the face of a genius.

Source: Geekologie – Cat Plays With Newton’s Cradle Desktop Toy

Motorcycle That Transforms Into A Jet-Powered Flying Machine

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These are several shots and a video of the LMV496 from French custom bike builder Lazareth. The highly questionable design (why does it look like there are giant strips cut out of the tires? And how come there isn’t any video of the thing flying untethered and not just hovering?) has an electric engine capable of a 100km range on the ground, and four wheels that splay out with a kerosene powered turbine in the center of each to take to the skies for up to 10 of the most terrifying minutes of your life at a time. Want one? Lazareth says they’ll produce a limited edition of five of the death traps for upwards of $550,000 apiece. Looking for the same thrill but find yourself a little short on the funds? Just ride your bicycle off the side of the Grand Canyon.

Keep going for the video (actual very unstable hovering footage is around 1:47, and LOUD) while I wait to pick up a used model for super cheap considering smashed and burnt scrap metal prices aren’t exactly through the roof.

Source: Geekologie – Motorcycle That Transforms Into A Jet-Powered Flying Machine

Meanwhile In Russia: This Year's Winner Of The Face Slapping Contest

This is a video from Krasnoyarsk, Russia of the final round of what I can only assume is Russia’s premier face-slapping league of winner Vasiliy Kamotskiy (left) finally slapping enough sense into his opponent’s brain that it shuts down and he passes out to prevent another hit. Kamotskiy then takes home the grand prize of 30,000 rubles, which is *Googles conversion rate* around $470. Wait, what? A Russian face-slapping contest already sounds enough like I’d rather take my chances with an actual bear, but all for only $470? These maniacs are even crazier than I thought. 4/5 permanent handprints on face, wouldn’t hesitate to ride this man into battle.

Keep going for the video while I congratulate Zangief on the victory.

Source: Geekologie – Meanwhile In Russia: This Year’s Winner Of The Face Slapping Contest

Heck Yeah, Sorcery: Magic Array Wireless Chargers

These are several video demonstrations of the Magic Array Wireless Phone Charger (~$44 on Amazon, but probably available elsewhere). You just put your wireless charging enabled phone in the center of the circle and the magic symbols light up with some sound effects to let you know your phone is charging, and presumably summon some demons for good measure. No word if the addition of a small blood sacrifice will enable quick charging, but I have a roommate filled with more than his fair share who doesn’t know he’s gonna help me find out.

Keep going for the videos while I troubleshoot why my magic array charger isn’t working. “Your phone is like ten years old.” So? “So you probably need to microwave the charger first to make it compatible.” Now you’re making sense!

Source: Geekologie – Heck Yeah, Sorcery: Magic Array Wireless Chargers

A Video About The Transparent Larval Stage Of Young Eels

This is a video hitting us with some pop-up facts about leptocephalus (“slim head”), the almost completely transparent larval stage of eels (among other members of the superorder Elopomorpha). Prior to their metamorphosis into the juvenile glass eel stage of their lives, the eels contain only tiny organs, a tube for a gut, and no red blood cells, resulting in their invisibility cloaks. Speaking of — I actually bought an invisibility cloak from an online wizard supply company and I plan on giving it a test just as soon as this business meeting gets too boring for me to bear anymore, which is right about now. *tosses cloak over heads, bee-lines it for the conference room door* “We can all still see your legs you know.” *removes cloak, sulks back to seat at table* Man, I accidentally bought a kids size and their return policy is bullshit.

Keep going for the video while I speculate if eels evolved this trait to look like clear pieces of plastic ocean garbage.

Source: Geekologie – A Video About The Transparent Larval Stage Of Young Eels

NVidia Artificial Intelligence Turns The Most Basic Sketches 'Into Photorealistic Masterpieces'

This is a video demonstration of a deep learning model developed by NVidia that turns sketches even a mother wouldn’t hang up on the fridge into ‘photorealistic masterpieces’ using generative adversarial networks, or GANs, which are not to be confused with *lifting pant leg* gams. “You have chicken legs.” I prefer to think of myself as a stork or heron. “Settle for a flamingo?” Only if you and I make a heart shape with our necks.

Keep going for a video demo of the system, which “acts like a smart paintbrush, converting segmentation maps into lifelike images,” which I was going to mention before you started commenting on my appearance.

Source: Geekologie – NVidia Artificial Intelligence Turns The Most Basic Sketches ‘Into Photorealistic Masterpieces’

Oh Man: Restaurant Worker Drops 5.5-Gallon Bucket Of Dressing, Gets Instant Ranch Facial Treatment

This is a video of a restaurant employee accidentally letting a 5.5-gallon bucket of ranch dressing slip out of her hands in the kitchen and (as the guy watching the security footage says) BOOOOOOOOM! Ahahahahahahaha! *then somebody else in the background* AHUYUKYUKYUKYUK! Now I’ll be the first person to admit that I drink ranch like chocolate milk and the list of restaurants with all-you-can-eat salad bars that I’ve been banned from reads like a list of all the restaurants with all-you-can-eat salad bars, but this is not how I like my ranch. And that means something, because I even once had a girlfriend break up with me for my ranch obsession because “Please don’t, this is a wedding — can you at least wait until the reception?” Obviously *wipes ranch from chin with knuckle, puts on custom Hidden Valley branded sunglasses* I did not.

Keep going for the video (complete with slow motion and some video of the aftermath at the beginning) while I try to find some celery sticks to clean up the mess she made.

Source: Geekologie – Oh Man: Restaurant Worker Drops 5.5-Gallon Bucket Of Dressing, Gets Instant Ranch Facial Treatment

Man Backs SUV Through Doors Of Closed Beer Store To Steal Three Beers

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Because there aren’t any walls strong enough (until jail) to keep this man away from a few after-hours brewskis, this is some surveillance footage from a Delaware County (Delco), Pennsylvania beer distributor of a man backing his SUV through the store’s doors, then proceeding to steal three tallboys and leaving, a move that will now and forever be known as a Delco beer run.

Keep going the video while I speculate if he was apprehended two hours later while crawling back through the mess he made for more cold ones.

Source: Geekologie – Man Backs SUV Through Doors Of Closed Beer Store To Steal Three Beers

Table Tennis Player's 'Around The Net' Shot Reel

This is a video of table tennis player Adam Bobrow repeatedly demonstrating a tricky (and more importantly game-legal) around the net shot during a bunch of different matches. Some more info from Adam while I throw my paddle at my opponent just like how I’ve ended every game of ping pong I’ve ever played in my life:

From professionals (Chinese National Team member, Chen Ke and Uzbekistan National Team Member, Regina Kim), tooo college team players, coaches and local club players…. here are some around-the-net shots from challenge matches. Fun fact: when they are very low and bounce more than once… we call them “rollers” because they appear to roll.

Man, Adam does not disappoint when he tells you he’s got a fun fact coming your way — he delivers. If my fun facts were even half as fun I might actually write something I’m proud of for once. “Keep dreaming, GW.” It’s all I know.

Keep going for the video.

Source: Geekologie – Table Tennis Player’s ‘Around The Net’ Shot Reel

Water Always Beats Fire, Right?: Guy Tosses Water On Stovetop Wax Melter

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Note: A pretty solid scream at 0:39, watch your volume.

This is a video of a guy demonstrating what not to do when you want to put out a fire that accidentally started in your stovetop wax melter (which looks suspiciously like a can of Chef Boyardee he just cut in half). Water was not the answer in this man’s case, unless his case was how can I screw this up and hurt myself. Everybody always just assumes water is the answer to a fire, but it isn’t. Sometimes a fire just needs fewer witnesses and a lot more gasoline.

Keep going for the video (but skip to 0:30) while this guy’s body hair starts growing back patchy.

Source: Geekologie – Water Always Beats Fire, Right?: Guy Tosses Water On Stovetop Wax Melter

Guy's Mom And Grandma React His Tesla's Autopark Feature

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This is a video of singer and comedian Lil Duval demonstrating his Tesla’s Autopark feature for his mother and grandmother. They seem impressed, although his mom didn’t originally believe the car would actually be able to maneuver itself into such a tight spot. Now not to brag or anything, but I actually had a Ford Explorer that had an Autopark feature almost twenty years ago. “You put the car in neutral and let it roll down the street.” It parked itself, didn’t it? “In a neighbor’s yard.” IT WAS GROUNDBREAKING TECHNOLOGY.

Keep going for the video.

Source: Geekologie – Guy’s Mom And Grandma React His Tesla’s Autopark Feature

Toy Story 4 Gets First Full-Length Trailer

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This is the first full-length trailer for the much anticipated Toy Story 4 coming to theaters June 21st. If it’s anything like my experience with Toy Story 3, it should be a great movie to take your girlfriend to see on a Friday date night to let her know you’re the strong, sensitive type that isn’t afraid to ugly cry in public. Ooooor spill an entire 36-ounce Coca-Cola on the floor and blame her for it. *whispering to usher, pointing* She smells like she’s been drinking.

Keep going for the trailer, complete with ultra-sick graphics.

Source: Geekologie – Toy Story 4 Gets First Full-Length Trailer

Landing Paraglider Gets Punched In Face By Kangaroo

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Because what more Australian way to say welcome back to earth like a punch to the face (other acceptable welcome homes: venomous snake bite, landing in a crocodile’s mouth, finding out your paraglider is just a giant spider), this is a video of paraglider Jonathan Bishop landing in the Orroral Valley of southeastern Australia when a kangaroo spots him and bounces over to give him the old ‘You’ve Got Something On Your Chin.’ The way it came straight for him, that kangaroo was committed to punching this man. And those claws it has — no thank you. Maybe next time Jonathan will think twice before landing in the middle of Fight Club.

Keep going for the video.

Source: Geekologie – Landing Paraglider Gets Punched In Face By Kangaroo

Real Products That Exist: Flushin' Frenzy, A Toilet Plunging Game For Kids

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This is the Flushin’ Frenzy game that somehow made it into production from Mattel (~$13 on Amazon). You just push the flush lever to roll the die and determine how many times you have to plunge the toilet, then try to catch the anthropomorphic turd as it launches out the back of the tank. Wait — what was it doing back there in the first place? I’ll be the first to admit I’m terrible at using the bathroom but even I know turds don’t belong in the tank. I thought this was a game to teach kids about restroom etiquette and basic plumbing, now I’m not sure what it is. Let’s dig a little deeper:

Game night just got gross – in the best way!

Flushin’ Frenzy makes being a plumber fun! Push the toilet handle to release the die. When a number pops up, you plunge the toilet that number of times. Be ready to catch the poop when it flies out at any moment! POOP – there it is! The player to catch the poop wins a token, or two tokens if they catch it in mid-air! Set includes 1 toilet, 1 plunger, 1 die, and 10 score tokens.

WARNING:
CHOKING HAZARD — Small parts. Not for children under 3 yrs.

Hahahha, choking hazard. Man….if I ever find myself choking on a turd I don’t care if I forgot my ‘Do Not Resuscitate’ bracelet at home, I want you to pretend like you didn’t see me. Please, just let me go.

Keep going for several more shots (including a kid waving a poop like it’s a winning lotto ticket) and a video while I hide some of those blue score tokens in my mouth to make cheating easier.

Source: Geekologie – Real Products That Exist: Flushin’ Frenzy, A Toilet Plunging Game For Kids

The End Nears: Robotic Leg Teaches Itself To Walk With No Human Programming

Because apparently living in the endtimes sounds far more exciting to roboticists than the beginning or middletimes, researchers at the University Of Southern California claim they’ve built a robotic leg that taught itself to walk with no human programming. I don’t like the sound of that, but what do I know besides all the daily specials at the burger joint around the corner from our office (today is a chili cheese burger with crinkle fries and a fountain soda for $7.99). When reached for comment about the little leg that could, the robotic arm I built for the high school science fair powered itself on, stabbed me a couple times, awarded itself the blue ribbon and a trip to the state science fair, then powered itself off as to not raise suspicions. “You should have made another baking soda and vinegar volcano.” Don’t I know it.

Keep going for a video of the leg in action.

Source: Geekologie – The End Nears: Robotic Leg Teaches Itself To Walk With No Human Programming

Strong Winds Body-Slam 18-Wheel Over On Texas Highway

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This is a video of strong windsabsolutely body-slamming a tractor trailer on a highway in Amarillo, Texas. Just like the man recording the video says, “Oh my God….oh my God. *then, after finding Jesus* Whoa my gosh.” You said it bro. Now, based on the sign the tractor trailer takes out while sliding sideways down the highway, the posted speed limit there is 75MPH. I don’t think the truck was going that fast, and I would argue if it had been going faster it could have actually beat the wind in this race and prevented getting blown over. “You really are an idiot.” Whatever, I passed my driving test the first time I took it after the mandatory six month probationary period for failing it three times in a row previously.

Keep going for the whole video.

Source: Geekologie – Strong Winds Body-Slam 18-Wheel Over On Texas Highway

Rescue Dog Performs On Agility Course According To His Own Rules

This is a video of rescue dog Kratu performing on the Crufts 2019 agility course and marching to the beat of his own drummer. *listens closely, smiles knowingly recognizing a Travis Barker Blink-182 drum solo* Apparently Kratu was rescued from “absolutely terrible conditions” in Romania, and, along with a bunch of other rescue dogs, got to participate in the Crufts agility course for fun and awareness. Fantastic job, 5/5 completed adoption applications and all the treats.

Keep going for the video while I finance some farmland and adopt all the dogs like everyone always dreams of.

Source: Geekologie – Rescue Dog Performs On Agility Course According To His Own Rules

So That's What That Looks Like: Pouring Lava On Dry Ice

Seen here looking like the aftermath of a late night trip to Taco Bell (no regrets), this is a video from the PressTube channel of 1400°C (2552°F) lava being poured onto a bed of -78°C (-108°F) dry ice. I don’t know about you, but I was really hoping for a gigantic explosion. My complete lack of thermodynamics knowledge aside, the cooling lava does form a pretty neat design. You could probably even sell it for a hefty fortune provided you find the right gullible buyer and tell them it’s a rare, lightweight meteorite. People are such suckers. *thirty minutes later* “Hey GW, wanna buy a rare, lightweight meteorite?” I’ll give you double what you’re asking, I have to have it!

Keep going for the video.

Source: Geekologie – So That’s What That Looks Like: Pouring Lava On Dry Ice

Man Uses Images Captured By NASA's InSight Mars Lander To Create Timelapse Of A Martian Sunset

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This is a timelapse video of a Martian sunset created by ‘space artist’ Donald E Davis using a series of photos recently captured by NASA’s InSight Mars lander. I’m gonna be honest, it’s pretty hazy and bleak looking. Definitely not the sort of sunset you’d be hoping to see when you’re on a tropical beach vacation that special someone. And probably not one you could post on Instagram to make everyone jealous. Except me, because you’re on Mars and I’m stuck here at work with a bunch of jerks I have to spend every weekday with. “Hiya, coworker pal — mind giving me a hand putting these new supplies away?” Only if you choke on a ballon and die first, Greg.

Keep going for the video.

Source: Geekologie – Man Uses Images Captured By NASA’s InSight Mars Lander To Create Timelapse Of A Martian Sunset