To celebrate Mario Day (MAR10) and take all my money in the process, LEGO has just unveiled a 1,972-piece build set of Mario in his Mario Kart. The $170 set is available now for pre-order, and will be on regular sale starting on what is presumably Maris Day (MAR15). Am I going to dust off my N64 and fire up some Mario Kart 64 in honor of Mario Day today? Trick question: no dusting required, I’m already on the player select screen waiting for someone to join me. Just to be clear though I only play battle mode because I suck at racing and always end going backwards.

This is Pokearth, a series of nature documentaries created by animator EnlargedKai (and narrated by Paul Warren) about Pokemon (Doduo, Wailord, Clodsire, Magikarp, and Spheal) in the style of David Attenborough’s ‘Planet Earth’ on BBC. They were a fun watch — I especially liked the Doduo and Magikarp ones, and the cameos of all the other Pokemon in them. Now they just need to make a 24-hour documentary of a day in the life of a Snorlax in real time. Did you know Snorlax only wake up to eat, and consume between 880 – 900 pounds of food a day? Add a hundred gallons of piña colada and that’s my dream life.

This is a video of two ovesized Beyblade style battle tops (launched with an angle grinder!) pitted against each other in an arena that’s set on fire. That’s…something. Something I could watch all day! More of this please, I just searched Youtube and only found one other example, I NEED MORE. “You should just make your own.” You think I don’t already have a fire arena?! Life is my fire arena.

that was satifying af
byu/Fun_Arm_633 inSatisfyingasfuck

This is a video documenting Slow Mo Guys (previously) Gav and Dan’s quest to build a watermelon rocket-powered skateboard. It consists of a watermelon zip-tied to a skateboard with its butt stuffed with sparklers. It does move, but when Dan tries to ride it the board’s MPS (miles per sparkler) leaves something to be desired. Namely, everything. So, if you were wondering if melon-rockets were going to be the engines of the future, the answer is a definitive ‘Absolutely’, and you’d invest in a watermelon farm now if you were smart.

Because soon robots will be having all of our fun for us, this is a video of the Ultra Mobile Vehicle (UMV) developed by researchers as at the Robotics and AI Institute (RAI, making this RAI’s UMV for those of you who love acronyming). It’s a little e-bike that can balance, ride over obstacles, and do tricks autonomously. The way it jumps onto the table — that’s wild. If this thing had handlebar streamers and spokie-dokies it would have melted 8-year old me’s face off.

Because I’m fascinated with skeletons (we all have one) this is ‘Shredding Light’, a stop-motion light painting video created by artist Darren Pearson (aka DariusTwin, previous work seen here) of skeletons riding skateboards. It’s a fun watch, and I can’t even imagine how long it took to make because Darren didn’t care to share that information.

There are hundreds of light painting photographs that make up the project. Each of these long exposure light painting photographs are straight out of the camera and arranged side by side to create motion.

Clearly, a labor of love. Or possibly of black magic to summon an army of evil undead skateboarders to wreak havoc on the planet! Ha, like they could do any better than we are.

This is a video of a robotic spy squirrel built by John Downer Productions (previously: some of their other spy animals) capturing the behavior of real squirrels as they attempt to steal each other’s nuts. Did you know that every autumn the average squirrel hides 10,000 nuts, and has such a good memory it can retrieve up to 4,000 of those? Sure, that’s only 40%, but if I retained 40% of the information I gathered I’d be a genius. I’m averaging far less than even 1% though, and if I were a squirrel I’d have been hit by a car crossing the street with a mouthful of rocks I thought were acorns a long time ago.

Keep going for the video while I practice the squirrel method of memory retention and never lose my car keys or wallet again.

Because the oceans are probably the best thing that ever happened to earth (humanity ranks dead last), this is a beautiful visualization of the earth’s ocean currents according to NASA’s ECCO (Estimating the Circulation and Climate of the Ocean) model, developed using data from spacecraft, buoys, and other measurements. Was Van Gogh’s ‘The Starry Night’ actually a painting of the oceans based on this data and harboring other mind-blowing clues about the lost city of Atlantis? Move over, Da Vinci, the Van Gogh Code is coming!

Because the end can’t come soon enough, this is a video of Unitree’s G1 humanoid robot performing some kung-fu on the sidewalk (previously: the G1 doing some jumping around like House Of Pain). You can buy your own G1 for around $16,000, although no word from Unitree if they’ll offer quantity discounts for those interested in raising a robotic army. A background check should probably be required for multiple purchases though. Or if you buy a single and leave ‘make it a pleasure model’ in the special instructions.

This is a video from the Voyageurs Wolf Project, which studies wolf behavior in Voyageurs National Park in northern Minnesota, of a rock that was intentionally sprayed with skunk essence (eau de La Pew) in order to get passing wolves to stop in front of the trail cam. It works too. Not just for wolves, but for several otters, who each do a little dance on the rock before pooping. Admittedly, those were some exemplary poop dances. The wolves just mostly rub themselves in the skunk scent, which is exactly what my dogs would do because their life goals are to smell as disgusting as possible.

This is a timelapse of a 3D printer platform built by Youtuber multipoleguy that adds an additional two axes (not golden though) to a typical 3-axis printer’s movement, allowing prints “with up to a 70º overhang in all directions, reducing the need for support structures.” That’s something. Something perfect for printing squiggly tubes! I’m going to open a store selling whatever kind of squiggly tube you want, and I’m going to call it…YouTube. “Get rich or get sued trying.” Heck yeah, I’m already growing a mustache and learning Spanish in case I need to flee and start a new life.

This is a video of Fingerbirgit, an automaton built by Hknssn, who describes himself as “creator, inventor and slightly insane.” I trust him. The automaton is powered via hand crank or lowering weight, and uses 1,170 pieces to delicately spin a globe in its five talons while the fingers take turns returning to their starting positions. That’s remarkable. I don’t know why, but automatons have always fascinated me. Maybe if I spent some time really thinking about it I could figure out what it is about me that makes me likes them so much, but I’ve always been fine just watching them thinking, “Holy sh!t that’s rad.” Why ruin a perfectly good thing?

This is a video of Elvis’s longtime personal cook Mary Jenkins reminiscing about The King (including how she once snuck him some hot dogs with sauerkraut into the hospital) and his favorite sandwich — a fried peanut butter and banana sandwich. It’s basically a peanut butter and banana sandwich made on toasted bread that, after assembled, is fried in a pool (like, the deep end) of butter. It looks delicious. Per Mary, “He said that’s the only thing he got any enjoyment out of was, was eatin’.” And after watching the Oscars last night I thought I didn’t have anything in common with celebrities!

This is a video from a burrito factory (that, despite the mess everywhere, is still way more hygienic than the places I like to eat) of a SIGMA Equipment Solbern BF2 SS Dual Lane Burrito Folding machine doing its thing. Based on all the loose tortillas and filling thrown about, I imagine there might be room for improving this burrito folder’s design. Me? I fold my burritos the same way I leave an all-you-can-eat buffet: way too full and ready to explode with the slightest poke.

This is a short clip of talented violinist Allie Miller performing a lovely duet with her dryer’s finished chime. Hey, my dryer makes the same chime! Must be a Samsung. Would I buy the same washer and dryer again? Probably not, but if they were to say, fall off the back of a truck… still no, they’re not my favorite and I can’t get the stink out of the washer no matter how many times I clean it. Now, Samsung — hit me up and we can make this post about LG.

This is a Guinness World Record video highlighting the brick collection of Tulsa, Oklahoma great grandfather Clem Reinkemeyer, who has the largest collection of unique bricks in the world, with a respectable 8,882. I feel like he handles them all a little too haphazardly, but they’re his bricks, if he wants to accidentally drop and break one that’s his business. But the way he talks about them all with such passion — and they’re BRICKS. I wish I could muster even a quarter of that passion about anything in life.

Longer video HERE in case you’re a brickhead yourself.

This is a song and music video from Youtuber ai am a jedi featuring Emperor Palpatine performing ‘The Tragedy of Darth Plaegus The Wise’. I’m honestly not sure how I feel about it, but I am convinced you could probably still get off to it if you summon enough midi-chlorians. Just try to work the cantina band into your fantasy and it should be no problem.

This is a video of jump roper Cen Xiaolin setting a new world speed record with an astonishing 228 jumps (technically alternate leg skips) in 30 seconds. That’s 7.6 jumps PER SECOND. Cen has been speed jumping for a while, and his record 8 years ago was only 108 jumps, so he’s more than doubled it in that time. How far can he go? My guess is ALL THE WAY. I don’t even know what that means, but I believe in him. Also, it’s safe to say I could never move that fast even if I was on fire, which I often am.

Keep going for the new record, as well as Cen’s previous record from 2016 for reference.

Because things stopped making sense a long time ago, Atari and UK-based Shed Sauce teamed up to produce Atari Sauces, a line of “hot and BBQ sauces inspired by Atari classics.” Come on now, were the sauces actually inspired by classic games, or did you just loosely match existing sauce flavors with old Atari titles and slap the box art on the bottles? Because I’m not a betting man, but if I was, I would bet everything on the latter and win big and never have to work again, the end.

This is a video of tuxedo cat Gus catching a ride on his caretaker grannysday’s walker as she takes it for a spin around the room. Apparently Gus insists on a ride whenever she uses the walker, which should come to no surprise to anybody who’s ever had a cat and knows their entire lives are nothing but free rides and napping. God forbid Gus here books a couple Fancy Feast commercials and buys his owner a mobility scooter.