This is the $40 cast iron t-rex bottle opener made by SUCK UK (but available on Amazon for $30). The solid cast iron t-rex measures 10.2″ x 4.7″ x 2.4″ and, like me, opens bottles with his teeth, not his hands. Plus it weighs a hefty two pounds, which means it can also double as a weapon in the event you find yourself fighting your roommate for the last beer in the fridge. Just make sure not to hit him too hard or you might find yourself in the same situation I’m in. “Which is?” Asking a stranger on the internet to help you dispose of a body. “Jesus, GW!” Well are you coming or not? I have nosy neighbors and this f***er already stunk bad enough alive.
Keep going for a couple more shots while I have a panic attack every time I hear sirens.
Source: Geekologie – I Am Into This: A 2-Pound Cast Iron T-Rex Bottle Opener
This is a video from the PressTube Youtube channel of a bunch of disposable lighters (the video title says 500 but I didn’t count nearly that many) getting tossed into an industrial shredding machine, which has a Zippo on each side to ignite the escaping butane as the lighters are crushed. Man, I only wish I could have been there to smell it. And, okay, maybe cook a couple hotdogs on a straightened coat hanger.
Keep going for the video.
Source: Geekologie – Fire In The Hole!: Destroying Disposable Lighters Into An Industrial Shredding Machine
These are several shots taken by car passenger Scotty McKinney on northbound I-95 in Massachusetts of a Pennsylvania Prius that has been heavily modified for MAXIMUM FUEL EFFICIENCY. From the teensy sideview mirrors to the wheel covers to the side skirts and custom aerodynamic rear, this thing practically screams 70 MPG. Shhhhhhhh, can you hear it? “I think it said ‘help me.'” Ahahahahahaha, it probably did.
Keep going for a few more shots.
Source: Geekologie – Prius Custom Modded For Max Fuel Efficiency Spotted On Highway
This is the $40 ‘Transformers Generations Collaborative: Ghostbusters Mash-Up, Ecto-1 Ectotron Figure’ available for pre-order from Hasbro (shipping July 8th, 2019). Want a whole army of them? Too bad, the 7-inch toys are limited to only two per customer, presumably to prevent someone from buying them all then selling them on eBay at a steep markup. *puts roommate’s credit card back in wallet* Some more info:
Transformers robots have always been More the Meets the Eye, but now, through the Transformers Collaborative, fans can experience these larger than life characters as they team-up, mash-up, and meet up with other characters, teams, and people who share this same special quality. It is a world of constant change, where things are not what they seem. It is the world of the Transformers…and the Ghostbusters…a world of heroic Autobots and evil Decepticons…and ghosts!
Discover how these worlds collide in this Transformers-Ghostbusters mash-up pack! The iconic Ecto-1 Cadillac from the 1984 Ghostbusters movie is now a Transformers robot — a converting Paranormal Investigator, called Ectotron! This Ectotron figure comes with his own Proton Pack accessory and a Slimer accessory, and converts between Ecto-1 and robot modes in 22 steps.
Admittedly, in Ecto-1 form it actually looks pretty good. In Transformer form, well, it looks like those cereals at the grocery store that only come in plastic bags. “Generic.” Exactly. Minus the Ecto Goggles and proton pack that could be anybody. Thankfully he’s wearing an ‘ECTOTRON’ nametag to let everyone know who he is. 3/5 stars would still have a doctor remove from my anus.
Thanks to kirikou, who agrees if there’s something strange in your neighborhood it’s best to go on vacation and hope things sort themselves out while you’re gone.
Source: Geekologie – Hasbro Releases A Ghostbusters Ecto-1 Tranformers Toy
This is a shot of the rare, sticker-sealed and pristine copy of Nintendo’s Super Mario Bros. that just sold at a Heritage Auction for a record-breaking $100,150 (for reference, the previous record holder was a copy of the NES’s ultra-rare Stadium Events sold at auction in 2017 for $42,077). Some more info about the copy’s uniqueness while I kick myself in the nuts for not getting another paper route when I was a kid and hoarding copies of unopened Nintendo games:
Due to its popularity, Nintendo reprinted Super Mario Bros. from 1985 to 1994 numerous times, resulting in 11 different box variations (according to this visual guide, NOTE: scroll about two-thirds down the page). The first two variations are “sticker sealed” copies that were only available in the New York and L.A. test market launch of the Nintendo Entertainment System (NES) in 1985 and 1986. Of all the sealed copies of Super Mario Bros., this is the only known “sticker sealed” copy and was certified by Wata Games with a Near Mint grade of 9.4 and a “Seal Rating” of A++.
“Not only are all of NES sticker sealed game’ extremely rare, but by their nature of not being sealed in shrink wrap they usually exhibit significant wear after more than 30 years,”…”This game may be the condition census of all sticker sealed NES games known to exist.”
How in the HELL did somebody keep a 30+ year old non-shrink wrapped video game in such pristine condition? I mean did they know it was going to be worth something one day, or did it just happen to find itself in a climate-controlled vault? I just bought the new Far Cry game on my lunch break and it already looks worse. Also, I am going to need one of you to help with the one co-op trophy in the game. Just remind me to mute my microphone when we’re playing (I’m also a steamy phone sex operator and like to multi-task).
Thanks to Richard, for reminding me how exciting it felt handing over one of those little paper slips for a new Nintendo game to the attendant in the video game booth at Toys R Us after my parents paid for it at the checkout. Those were the days.
Source: Geekologie – Rare, Unopened Copy Of Super Mario Bros. Sells For Over 0,000 At Auction
This is a shaky video of a Macross (english adaptation Robotech) VF-1S mecha transforming at a previous Beijing Comic Convention. The all-metal 1/9 scale model was created by artist Sun Shiqian and transforms back and forth from its two forms all on its own. I know, I thought it was the Decepticon’s Starscream at first too. It’s not though, it’s a Robotech VF-1S mecha. I’ll admit, I’m not that familiar with the Robotech franchise. With the local Dairy Queen franchises? All the owners know me by name. And that name, of course, is — “Sir Eatalot?” IT’S THE BLIZZARD KING, JERK.
Keep going for a couple shots of the mecha and the video of its transformation, which is really just the gif in higher quality.
Source: Geekologie – Video Of A Real-Life Robotech Mecha Transforming
A copy of Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire laced with psychoactive drugs was recently found in a Nottingham, England prison, with inmates smoking more than 400 pages of the book before it was found. Some more info while I don’t smoke a book:
The “Spice-like substance” found on samples from the book was detected by a new drug-testing machine
It is thought the drugs had been sprayed on to the paper before it entered the prison.
Four hundred pages were missing, which staff suspected had been torn into strips and smoked.
Prison officer Adam Donegani said each strip was worth about £50.
“The prices are inflated within the prison service (compared with) street value, so that can be whatever they want to charge for it,” he said.
Apparently ‘Spice’ is a generic term for synthetic cannabanoids, which act on the same brain receptors as THC, but cause much more intense and unpredictable effects. Potential psychotic effects include: extreme anxiety, confusion, paranoia and hallucinations, or basically the exact opposite of what I’d ever want to experience in prison. Pass me a note in my mashed potatoes when there’s a drug that will let me punch through walls and jump guard towers.
Thanks to j-zell, who wants to know how many inmates were convinced they were wizards before the book was found.
Source: Geekologie – How Magical: Harry Potter Book Sprayed With Drugs Smuggled Into UK Prison Where Inmates ‘Smoked The Pages’
Above: There’s just no excuse for that.
Despite Obi Wan Kenobi’s earlier claim that Imperial stormtroopers are “so precise,” this is a video of the 296 missed blaster shots fired by stormtroopers during Luke Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Han Solo, Chewbacca, R2-D2, C-3PO, and Princess Leia’s escape from the Death Star (half of which were shot down narrow corridors). Granted it looks like a lot of those shots were just to keep the group pinned down, but still, that’s just awful shooting. So — if you ever find yourself sentenced to death by firing squad, remember to request stormtroopers.
Keep going for a video of the count.
Source: Geekologie – 296: A Video Count Of All Stormtroopers’ Missed Blaster Shots During The Death Star Escape Scene In Star Wars: A New Hope
This is a short video demonstration of Tesla’s new ‘Dog Mode’, a feature that regulates a preset temperature you’ve choose inside the cabin when you step out to do something, and displays a message (“My owner will be back soon. Don’t worry! The A/C is on and it’s XX°F”) on the car’s large center console for passers-by letting them know your pet is safe. It is quite possibly the best automotive feature since the seat belt, which my car doesn’t even have because I drive a spaceship. It does have automatic climate control for my dogs though, which is necessary since a lot of time they’re the ones driving anyways while I nap in am empty rocket booster. *puts ‘DOG IS MY COPILOT’ and ‘DOG IS MY PILOT’ shirts on dogs, pets them both on the head* Just go anywhere, I don’t care.
Keep going for the whole video.
Source: Geekologie – Tesla Introduces ‘Dog Mode’, Climate Control For Your Dog When The Engine Is Off, Along With A Message That Your Pet Is Safe
In other drinking out of things news comes these Stay Puft Marshmallow Man Tiki Mugs from Mondo. The mugs come in two styles, standard ($50) and bone finish ($55), and each holds a whopping 36-ounces of rum and fruit juice. So — what’s your favorite tiki cocktail? I like the giant blue one that’s served in a fish bowl and set on fire. The place I go to won’t serve one to less than two people but I just tell them my friend is in the bathroom then slam it before they realize the very clever ruse I’ve perpetrated. Granted they usually ask me to leave afterwards, like I wasn’t going to leave on my own after pounding 64-ounces of white rum and blue curaçao anyways.
Source: Geekologie – Giant 36-Ounce Stay Puft Marshmallow Man Tiki Mugs
Because who hasn’t dreamed of drinking out of an animal’s nose, these are the Elephant Straws allegedly available for pre-order (minimum order of 12 but there’s no price when I put them in my cart so I don’t know what the hell is going on I just want my damn straws) from UK online retailer Paladone. The reusable straws consist of two separate segments for easy cleaning, and make it look like there’s an elephant at the bottom of your glass of your Juicy Juice or cocktail. No word if the bottom hole is in the elephant’s foot or belly, but hopefully it’s in the foot so you can actually drink to the bottom of the glass. Otherwise that’s just poor product design. And you know how I feel about poor product design. “It makes you angry.” Worse *plowing through box of Samoa Girl Scout Cookies* it makes me HANGRY. It’s the reason I’m fat. “I don’t think you can blame poor produc–” IT’S THE REASON I’M FAT, END OF DISCUSSION.
Keep going for one more shot while I blow bubbles in my chocolate milk and daydream I’m Willy Wonka.
Source: Geekologie – How Whimsical: Reusable Elephant Drinking Straws
Note: Keep your volume in check, wind.
This is a video of the Norwegian Epic cruise ship coming into dock in San Juan, Puerto Rico following some engine trouble at sea, and crashing into two mooring platforms in the process, sinking both. No word if the engine trouble or Captain Rumbeard was to blame, but I feel like I could have easily done just as good a job if not better provided causing as much damage and destruction was the goal.
Keep going for the whole video.
Source: Geekologie – Coming In Hot: Cruise Ship Crashes Into Two Mooring Platforms And Sinks Them While Trying To Dock
This is a video of the large zoetrope made for Valentine’s Day (Happy Valentine’s Day, I love you!) by filmmaker Sam Tilson and yarn artist London Kaye that features a volcano dripping hearts down to milk boxes, which in turn squirt hearts from their straws into the cups of coffee below. Cute! But enough about zoetropes — where are you taking me tonight and how fancy should I dress? Are we going dancing afterwards? That was a trick question, I hate dancing and I’m definitely not dancing with a belly full of steak and lobster. “Settle for Burger King and a co-op Playstation game?” *blushing* It’s like you can read my heart as easy as the wall of a bathroom stall.
Keep going for the whole video (which includes closeups of all the elements) while I put my PJ’s on and wait for you to show up with the BK.
Source: Geekologie – Oh Wow: A 3-D Valentine’s Day Zoetrope Made With Yarn
This is a video of crazy person Will Pemble’s journey to build a one-man roller coaster in his backyard (which is actually his fifth homemade roller coaster because everybody needs an insane hobby). The first part of the video focuses on his initial build of the coaster, then the second half deals with the trials and tribulations of trying to add a barrel roll to the ride. After adding the barrel roll, Will has been the only person to ride it (and only once) and says that it’s “borderline not safe”, which, based on the video, I would argue is actually definitely not safe. Still, give me six beers and $5 and I’ll ride it with my hands up the whole time.
Keep going for the whole video, and remember: you don’t need crash test dummies if you have beer and idiot friends.
Source: Geekologie – Guy Builds One-Man Roller Coaster (Complete With Barrel Roll) In Backyard
Originally landing on the red planet on January 25th, 2004 with a planned mission duration of 90 days but managing to last almost 15 years, the Mars rover Opportunity mission has officially been declared complete by NASA after the rover failed to answer one last call following 8 months of radio silence. *pouring out a little liquor* You will be missed. “That’s coffee.” No, it’s only a quarter coffee.
Due to the 2018 dust storms on Mars, Opportunity ceased communications on June 10 and entered hibernation on June 12, 2018. It was hoped it would reboot once the atmosphere cleared, but it did not, suggesting either a catastrophic failure or that a layer of dust has covered its solar panels. NASA hoped to reestablish contact with the rover, citing a windy period that could potentially clean off the solar panels of the rover. On February 13, 2019, NASA officials declared that the Opportunity mission was complete, after the spacecraft failed to respond to repeated signals sent since August 2018.
Man, a planned mission duration of 90 days that stretched to almost 15 years — can you imagine if other government projects were so successful? “No.” It’s hard, isn’t it? We can send a rover to Mars that outlives its estimated operation by fifty-five times, but we can’t manage to get a single piece of our other shit together. “Life on Mars is sounding pretty good right now.” Sit tight — we’re coming, Opportunity!
Thanks to everyone who sent this, several of whom are still holding onto a glimmer of hope that we get a rogue beep from Mars one day in the future.
Source: Geekologie – Goodnight, Sweet Prince: Mission Called On Mars Rover Opportunity After 8 Months Of Silence
This is the $25 Dungeons & Dragons Stranger Things starter kit available for pre-order (arriving May 1st from a variety of different places including Amazon, the Big Bad Toy Store, Entertainment Earth and more — just don’t pay more than $25 unless you like wasting money). The kit includes everything you need to go on a Stranger Things inspired adventure and is perfect for those looking to get their D&D toes wet. Obviously, you should buy it, then I’ll come over and play. I get to the be the demogorgon though. “The demogorgon isn’t a playable character.” Oh really, because I thought *brandishing stick I sharpened on the sidewalk* that it was. “You can be the demogorgon.” Cool, I also get to be zombie Barb on my other turn.
Thanks to Lindsey P, for getting me to spend $25 before I’ve even had my morning coffee.
Source: Geekologie – Dungeons & Dragons ‘Stranger Things’ Starter Kit Available For Pre-Order
This is the Sid Wainer & Son Cheese Lover Artisan Wedding Cake available from CostCo. It costs $440 and contains five different kinds of cheeses totaling a whopping 24 pounds, including (from bottom to top): 8 pounds of Red Leicester, 7 pounds of Danish Blue, 5 pounds of Murcia al Vino, 3 pounds ofTuscan Sheep’s Cheese and a 17-ounce topper of Brillat Savarin Triple Cream Brie. The literal cheese cake is estimated to serve around 105 – 150 wedding guests, and, as far as wedding cakes go, is definitely the most likely to give them constipation. Obviously– “I’m not serving them undercooked seafood ‘to even things out.'” But it’s the right thing to do!
Keep going for two more shots.
Source: Geekologie – Real Products That Exist: The 24-Pounds Of Cheese Wedding Cake
This is a short home security cam video of a man presumably going to check his mail when he hits a spot of black ice at the top of his driveway, launching both his slippers into the air and sliding all the way down to the street. The way he’s holding his back when he gets up — I’m guessing that didn’t feel like a hot stone massage. Still, he’s lucky he didn’t crack his skull open on that little brick wall, because he came EXTREMELY close. So — you think he herniated a disc or what? Because I herniated a disc working out not too long ago, and I was crooked to the left for a couple days until I went to the chiropractor. “You’re lying, GW.” How do you know? “Working out?” First of all, trying to carry all the groceries inside in one trip is a workout. Secondly, I’m actually in great physical form for somebody my age. “A human?” Okay now I never said that.
Keep going for the whole video, complete with painful aftermath. He doesn’t even bother checking the mail.
Source: Geekologie – Ouch: Man Bites It Hard On Black Ice, Launches Both His Slippers
This is a map of the US showing what the folks at real estate website Estately believe to be the lewdest sounding town in the state. Obviously it’s subjective, and what sounds lewdest to one person might sound quite tame to another. Personally, I don’t find any of these that lewd and I wouldn’t hesitate to say any one of them out loud at the family dinner table. “Just go to your room now.” Mom! It’s not even 2PM. “Just go and stay there forever.” But– “Enough with the butt talk, now to your room before I have to go find a bar–” Of soap? “No, just a bar to drink at in peace away from you. I could stay there for days.”
Note: You can go HERE to read a bunch of runner-ups for each state.
Thanks to Charlotte, who agrees these town namers clearly didn’t have nearly dirty enough minds.
Source: Geekologie – My My!: A Map Of The Lewdest Sounding Town In Each US State
This is a video from the Okeanos Explorer deep-sea research vessel highlighting a ‘Psychedelic Medusa’ hydrozoa (Crossota millsae). It looks like a firework that just exploded, doesn’t it? “Kind of.” I’ll take it. After all, kind of is a close relative to yes. “How close?” Well they could probably still date and get married if that’s what you’re asking. “So not very close at all.” Well I’m from West Virginia so it’s different.
Keep going for the whole video, complete with live scientist commentary.
Source: Geekologie – Video Of A Deep Sea ‘Psychedelic Medusa’ Hydrozoa