Star Wars Everything: Chewbacca Christmas Lights

chewbacca-lights.jpg

This is a ten-light strand of indoor/outdoor Chewbacca lights available on Amazon ($27, regularly $37, *spit-takes*). They’re an officially licensed Star Wars product and although I called them Christmas lights in the title, they’re more whatever/whenever lights because who on earth would actually have a Star Wars themed Christmas tree? *watches all the hands go up* You know sometimes I forget who I’m talking to. So, yeah, if you were waiting for a strand of lights that look like ten wookies getting brainwashed at once, look no further.

Thanks to Jeffrey S, who agrees these would look great strung over a Star Wars themed beer pong table.

Source: Geekologie – Star Wars Everything: Chewbacca Christmas Lights

Dog Named Potter With Alleged Lightning Bolt On Head Dressed As Harry Potter Riding A Roomba

harry-potter-dog-roomba.jpg

This is a video of Potter the Pomeranian/Siberian Husky mix (pomsky, *sighs sadly*) dressed as his namesake and riding a robotic vacuum (aka Muggle broom), while the Harry Potter theme plays in the background. *shrug* What can I say, this is the internet. I’m not here to decide whether or not it makes sense, I’m just here to say it must be destroyed along with the final horcrux. *strenuously raising R2-D2 over head* To Mount Doom!

Keep going for the video.

Source: Geekologie – Dog Named Potter With Alleged Lightning Bolt On Head Dressed As Harry Potter Riding A Roomba

My My: A Sexy Jurassic Park Lounging Dr. Ian Malcolm Statue

dr-ian-malcolm-statue-1.jpg

This is the lounging Dr. Ian Malcolm statue available for pre-order from Chronicle Collectibles. The 1:4 scale hunk measures 18-inches long and 11-inches tall, is expected to ship in the second quarter of 2020, and costs $600. And, I think I speak for everyone here when I say that’s cool, but where’s the full-scale replica with lifelike skin that likes to cuddle and tell me he loves me?

Keep going for a handful more shots while I grab a wet washcloth to tend to the doctor’s wounds.

Source: Geekologie – My My: A Sexy Jurassic Park Lounging Dr. Ian Malcolm Statue

Mesmerizing Stop Motion Video Of Marble Cakes Being Sliced

This is a video from stop-motion animator Kevin Parry of cakes being sliced progressively thinner and thinner so you can see the marbled interior swirl around and wait — was that a devil face? Did it tell me to yell “Fire in the hole!” and throw an empty flask over my cubicle wall? SPOILER: It wasn’t and didn’t, but I’m going to anyway. Also, I know what I’m having for dinner tonight. “A sandwich made from a lengthwise cut loaf.” Goshdang you’re good. If this were football you would sacked me.

Keep going for the video.

Source: Geekologie – Mesmerizing Stop Motion Video Of Marble Cakes Being Sliced

Man Uses Bread Loaf Cut Lengthwise To Make Extra Long Grilled Cheese

long-grilled-cheese-1.jpg

This is a short pictorial of Imgurian progun9876543212718’s quest to make an extra long grilled cheese sandwich after procuring “some lengthwise cut bread from work.” I assume they work at a bakery or grocery store or restaurant and not a hardware store, although I suppose you could cut that bread with a bandsaw. Obviously, this is the perfect sandwich bread for being able to lie to your doctor and tell them you’ve only been having a single sandwich for lunch every day. Granted lying to your doctor isn’t going to make you any better, but it’s always nice to pull one over on someone smarter than yourself.

Keep going for the process (SPOILER: the same as making a regular grilled cheese).

Source: Geekologie – Man Uses Bread Loaf Cut Lengthwise To Make Extra Long Grilled Cheese

Woman Gets Interviewed About Electric Scooter Rules, Immediately Crosses Street During Don't Walk And Gets Hit By Car

This is a video from Mallorca of a woman being interviewed about the laws pertaining to the operation of electric scooters, then proceeding to cross a street after the safe-to-cross crosswalk has ended and immediately getting hit by a car. A transcription of the interview:

Interviewer: “What are the rules?”

Girl: “You can’t go anywhere unless it’s a cycle path or ACIRE (zones of restricted vehicle access in this city)… uhm… it’s still not mandatory to wear a helmet … and you can’t wear headphones with music … and I think at night you can go anywhere”.

Interviewer: “perfect”

Girl: (still finishing her answer)… “from like 10pm, more or less”

Interviewer: “you pass!!! Thank you!”

Girl: Byeee

Admittedly, I probably would have done the exact same thing. You just got randomly interviewed on the side of the road and you’re so dazzled by your fifteen seconds of fame you’re all “Later!” and don’t think to look if the crosswalk is lit, you see some stragglers in it and just go. Even if traffic had been going by at full speed I would have probably felt obligated to cross that street Frogger style. Would I have made it? “One jump into the street, one panicked jump towards an oncoming car, froggy skull and crossbones.” That sounds right.

Keep going for the video, complete with value-add ending.

Source: Geekologie – Woman Gets Interviewed About Electric Scooter Rules, Immediately Crosses Street During Don’t Walk And Gets Hit By Car

Experimenting To See How Small An Opening An Octopus Can Fit Through

This is a video from the octopus research and knowledge group Octolab of Arnold the octopus attempting to squeeze through narrower and narrower gaps to reach his favorite hiding spot, a barrel. Some more info while I squeeze my arm up through the vending machine chute for a free package of powdered donuts:

We’re constantly being told that an octopus can fit through any hole. As long as he can fit his beak through a small space, his entire body will follow. We decided to test this out ourselves. …In no way was the octopus in this video placed in harm’s way at any time. The octopus in this video weighs about 4 pounds (1.8 KG). He measures approximately 30 inches (76cm) from the tip of one arm to the tip of the opposite arm when he’s stretched out. The spaces he attempts to go through in this challenge are

0.70 inches (1.7cm)
0.79 inches (2cm)
0.98 inches (2.5cm)
1.18 inches (3cm)
1.38 inches (3.5cm)

After making an amazing number of successful attempts, Arnold decided that was absolutely done.

TL;DNR easily into your butt, no problem.

Keep going for the video.

Source: Geekologie – Experimenting To See How Small An Opening An Octopus Can Fit Through

Freaky Deaky Humanoid Alien Stuffed Animals

stuffed-aliens-1.jpg

These are the ‘NiceBUY 1 Pcs Alien Plush Fun Toy Cotton Soft Stuffed The Extra-Terrestrial Weird Tricky Funny Doll Lifelike Realistic Gifts’ available on Amazon. The stuffed humanoid aliens come in three sizes: 60cm (~24-inches), 80cm (~31-inches), 100cm (~39-inches) and cost $6, $15, and $26, respectively. Obviously, despite what’s already going through your head, they were not designed to be modded into pleasure aliens. “But–” You have to swear to me.

Keep going for a handful more shots.

Source: Geekologie – Freaky Deaky Humanoid Alien Stuffed Animals

Lowest Of The Low: Man Steals Woman's Wallet While Praying At Church

stealing-wallet-in-church.jpg

This is some security cam footage from a church in I’m not sure where of a man stealing a woman’s wallet (or possibly phone? My zoom and enhance wasn’t working) while at prayer. I like how he has the gall to dip his hand in the holy water and bless himself on the way out afterwards, like God gives a damn about him anymore and isn’t busy orchestrating a dropped piano or out of control bus. “Man, I cannot WAIT to pack that butt full of hot coals,” I imagine the devil thinking out loud as he watched the video link God sent.

Keep going for the video.

Source: Geekologie – Lowest Of The Low: Man Steals Woman’s Wallet While Praying At Church

LEGO Dinosaur Fossil Set Becomes Reality

lego-dinosaur-fossils-1.jpg

After some fan-submitted LEGO dinosaur fossil sets gained enough traction on the LEGO Ideas website to warrant review and potential production, the company is releasing set #21320, ‘Dinosaur Fossils’, a 910-piece set that includes 1:32 scale fossil displays of a t-rex, triceratops, and pteranodon. Plus a minifig and skeleton minifig. The set costs $60, is available now, and sadly might be the closest I’ll ever come to realizing my dream of being a paleontologist. “Awww, GW, it’s never too la–” Don’t you inspirational poster me. That ship has sailed and you know it.

Keep going for the video.

Source: Geekologie – LEGO Dinosaur Fossil Set Becomes Reality

Helium Balloon Skeleton Casually Haunting The Street

This is a short Twitter video of a helium balloon skeleton making its way back to wherever the hell helium balloon skeletons hang out during the Halloween offseason (Spookytown?). The way it moves — if I didn’t know any better I’d swear it was actually possessed. “Nobody expects you to know better, GW.” Oh thank God. “We’ve just come to accept and despise you for the halfwit you are.” My parents said it was one of the best decisions they’ve ever made.

Keep going for the full video, complete with ‘Drops Of Jupiter.’

Source: Geekologie – Helium Balloon Skeleton Casually Haunting The Street

Okaaay: Frozen's 'Let It Go' Performed In Klingon

let-it-go-in-klingon.jpg

This is the audio of Jen Usellis, aka the Klingon Pop Warrior, performing Frozen’s ‘Let it Go’ in Klingon. I’m not gonna lie, it’s a banger in any language. Or at least English and Spanish (¡Suéltalo!) and Klingon, because those are the only versions I’ve heard. Maybe it actually sucks in German. Listens to German version because this is the internet and all the information and media in the world is right at your fingertips. Oh wow. You know the internet really is a magical place. “It’s a shithole.” We should flush a stick of dynamite down it!

Keep going for the Soundcloud, as well as a video of ‘Somewhere Over The Rainbow’ being performed live.

Source: Geekologie – Okaaay: Frozen’s ‘Let It Go’ Performed In Klingon

Yikes: Woman Backing Up To Take Picture Of Mom Almost Falls Into Grand Canyon

This is a short video of Emily Koford almost falling into the Grand Canyon while backing up to take a picture of her mom Erin on the south rim. The moment was captured by fellow visitor Kevin “Holy!” Fox from a further vantage point. Me? You’d never see me that close to the edge. I don’t trust myself. Neither my balance nor my brain telling me it’s cool to jump, one of Gandalf’s giant eagle friends will save you.

Keep going for the full video.

Source: Geekologie – Yikes: Woman Backing Up To Take Picture Of Mom Almost Falls Into Grand Canyon

Video Of Man Trying To Cook On Sailboat During Rough Seas

This is a video of sailor Lasse Schwarz attempting to prepare food aboard a large sailboat during rough seas in the North Atlantic. That does not look like a fun time. I mean maybe for a minute or two, but that would get old quick. Honestly, I started feeling a little pukey just watching. “No, you just took four shots back-to-back.” It’s called brunch, and that has nothing to do with it.

Keep going for the video, as well as a stabilized version that made me even sicker than the first one.

Source: Geekologie – Video Of Man Trying To Cook On Sailboat During Rough Seas

WTF Is Wrong With You?: Honda Brake-Checks A Hummer, Hummer Exacts Revenge

This is a short video of a blue Honda speeding across three lanes of traffic then immediately brake-checking the Hummer approaching from behind. Like, to the point you can see the Honda’s tires smoke. The Hummer proceeds to ram them, then ram them a couple more times for good measure. I’ve got the feeling these two may have had a previous altercation leading up to this. Whatever the case, I want to see some licenses revoked. But mostly just the Honda driver’s though, because that was me in the Hummer. “You drive a Hummer, GW?” Come on, do I look like the kind of person who owns a Hummer? “You don’t look like the kind of person who owns a wallet.” I don’t even know what that means, but it’s true.

Keep going for the video.

Source: Geekologie – WTF Is Wrong With You?: Honda Brake-Checks A Hummer, Hummer Exacts Revenge

Well That's Something You Don't See Everyday: Water Pouring From Top Of Skyscraper

skyscraper-waterfall.jpg

Unusual stream? Pfft, meet me in the men’s room in ten minutes.

This is a local news report from downtown Philadelphia where water was spotted spewing from the top of the One Liberty Place skyscraper on Sunday. Apparently it was intentional, and an annual test of the building’s fire protection systems. Still, I don’t think it’s fair this building can relieve itself so freely when every couple weeks I’m getting arrested for discreetly trying to pee in some bushes or an alleyway. “You just never learn your lesson, do you, GW?” LESSONS WERE MADE TO BE BROKEN.

Keep going for the news report while I water the plants around the office.

Source: Geekologie – Well That’s Something You Don’t See Everyday: Water Pouring From Top Of Skyscraper

Playing Nurse Today

laser-vision.jpg

So I’m playing nurse today to a lady who just had laser vision surgery. I’ll try to keep the pranks to a minimum, but you have to understand this may be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for me. Tomorrow she’ll either take her goggles off and laser-slice me in half, or I’ll convince her to help me burn our way into a bank vault. Fingers crossed for the latter.

Source: Geekologie – Playing Nurse Today

Cooool: Hyperlapse Of Solar Eclipse As Viewed From Weather Balloon At Altitude Of 50km

This is a video of a 2017 solar eclipse as viewed from over 50km (~31-miles) over Wyoming. In Youtuber senttospace’s own words while I wish I was back in space right now. “You’ve never been to space.” You don’t know anything about me. “I know you’re a liar.” Pfft, one thing, big deal.

In August 2017 we travelled to Wyoming to film a solar eclipse. We launched a high altitude weather balloon filled with helium to an altitude exceeding 50km, timing the apex of the flight to coincide with totality.

Using a series of cameras aligned with nanometre precision, we filmed 360 degrees of footage for three hours from launch. On landing, we stitched the footage together and digitally stabilised the footage frame by frame to artificially lock the viewer perspective on the horizon, cropping down to a traditional 16:9 ratio. Finally, we speed-ramped the footage to create the world’s first hyperlapse of an eclipse from the edge of space.

The footage really is breathtaking, isn’t it? It’s all lens flare, lens flare, lens flare, then BOOM, a perfect little moon in front of the sun. Plus seeing the shadow of the moon cast on earth is totally nuts. “Nobody cares about space.” I do. “I stand by what I said.” Mom!

Keep going for the full video with a much more respectable frame rate and resolution. Also, why does the earth look curved like that?

Source: Geekologie – Cooool: Hyperlapse Of Solar Eclipse As Viewed From Weather Balloon At Altitude Of 50km

What Is Wrong With You?: Guy Lights Roman Candle Backwards

roman-candle-wrong-direction.jpg

“It went the wrong way!” Haha, no….

This is a short video of a group of country boys presumably celebrating another day of miraculously not being dead by unknowingly lighting a Roman candle backwards and waiting for it to ricochet off one dude’s beard into the side of another guy’s head. Jesus, have you never played with fireworks before? “Probably the only reason they’ve lived this long.” FACT.

Keep going for the video, but seriously, four dudes and not a single one knows he’s holding it backwards? He points it right at his face like he’s looking down the barrel of a gun!

Source: Geekologie – What Is Wrong With You?: Guy Lights Roman Candle Backwards

Finally, Some Decent Fake Tire Spikes To Prevent People From U-Turning In Your Driveway

fake-tire-spikes.jpg

These are the $40 DrivewaySpike U-Turn Deterrents. They look like harmful tire spikes but are actually made of rubber so you can drive over them without puncturing your tires, but they should discourage strangers from doing the same. Me? I just lined my whole driveway with them along with a strip of ACTUAL spikes mixed in just to test myself. Will I remember where to swerve into the yard? Only time will tell!

UPDATE: Not at all. Could use a ride to work for a couple weeks while I save for new tires and airbag.

Keep going for a video demonstration.

Source: Geekologie – Finally, Some Decent Fake Tire Spikes To Prevent People From U-Turning In Your Driveway