Welcome back to The Out of Touch Adult’s Guide to Kid Culture, your weekly reminder that the internet is raising children in ways no one understands. This week, we’ve got kids setting their laptops on fire for clicks, a clueless millennial stepping into a cultural and linguistic minefield, and chicken Alfredo (but make it R&B).
“Low GPA Activity” trend sees kids burning their laptops
In last week’s column, I explained the “low GPA activity” trend that was taking off on TikTok. To quote me: “It’s the kind of trend that went from funny to a little harmful quickly, so check out these videos now, before TikTok bans the entire genre.”
I must be psychic, because the trend that started with cafeteria sculptures has literally caught on fire: Kids are setting their school-issued Chromebooks alight, then posting videos like this:
Unlike many past sensationalized reports of dangerous online trends, this one seems real. Kids burning their laptops have been reported all over the country, and there are at least two cases of laptop arsonists facing charges. It’s important to note, though, that this is a small number of kids we’re talking about.
There are three flavors of laptop destruction: The more gentle kind involves “stress testing” a laptop by throwing it around some. Kids took that further by forcing staples, paperclips, or other metal objects into their Chromebook’s ports to short it out and produce smoke. The trend’s final form is puncturing the lithium batteries in their laptops to release toxic smoke and/or start a fire.
Despite the news reports, I don’t think it’s entirely accurate to blame these fires on an “online challenge” or a meme. I still vaguely remember how the last days of a teenage school year felt; when things slowed down enough for you to start seeing what a sham everything is, back when that was a dismal revelation instead of something you’d learned to deal with. My response was putting on some Alice Cooper or watching Rock ‘n Roll High School, but only because I didn’t have a laptop to burn.
Gen A slang speech stirs online controversy
Xiaomanyc is a 34 year old YouTuber best known for videos where he speaks different languages with fans and followers all over the world. But a recent speech at a high school proved contentious for this non-controversial streamer. Xiaomanyc chose to deliver the speech about the “Gen Alpha dialect of English.” It was clearly meant to be lighthearted, as you can see from the video below:
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But he’s inadvertently touched a cultural third rail, particularly to young people. Most of the kids there seemed to like the speech, but some definitely did not. Online types weighed in with their own disapproval. As @hennytwote put it on X:
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He went on to lay out the issue: “Being a polyglot who studies linguistics and failing to recognize the sociological overlaps of your field that basically have you micro-aggressing Black members of your audience is actually so fucking funny to me. White people are insane.”
“It’s literally just Black slang. What is it with ⚪️ people and erasure? It’s so off putting,” posted X user @Santawave.
It’s certainly a fair point, but a lot of the slang used by Xiaomanyc (and Gen A itself) didn’t originate with AAVE. For instance, “giga-chad” and “mog” come from very-online communities’ message-board speak. “Chud” comes from the movie C.H.U.D., and I doubt any Black person wants to take credit for “Skibidi Toilet.” More importantly, even if you have valid concerns about how other people use words, language doesn’t care; it’s a magpie that takes whatever’s shiny.
(If you want to translate some Alpha-speak with both AAVE and other origins, check out my glossary: ‘Aura Farming,’ ‘Huzz,’ and Other Gen Z and Gen Alpha Slang You Might Need Help Decoding.)
What is a “paypig?”
“Paypig” is slang that originated from the BDSM community. It refers to the submissive in a financially dominant lifestyle. So basically submissive dudes (usually) who are aroused by giving money to people who are financially dominant, aka “findoms.” (Capitalism calls them “consumers.”) I bring this up to point to a growing niche of TikTok users who are teaching each other how to find paypigs, giving out their Cash App name for anyone who wants to send a few ducats, and populating hashtags like #findomme and #paypig.
What is “chicken Alfredo boomerang” music?
This phrase is only understood by hyper-online music stans. It needs to be taken apart to be understood by mortals/people who have to work. “Boomerang” here refers to the looping feature on Instagram of that name. Chicken Alfredo refers to the meal, but when you put them together, “chicken Alfredo boomerang” music refers to the weakass R&B someone might put behind an Instagram post of their dinner at a mid-scale restaurant. Referring to commercially released music like this is, obviously, an insult.
Other extremely-specific musical insults include “reheating your own nachos,” “co-worker music” (music a lame co-worker might be playing), and “Love Island music,” (the music that plays when a couple fights during an episode of Love Island).
What is “The 2020 effect?”
The 2020 effect is a TikTok meme where users post videos that seems to show a brighter, more colorful world, as if the darkness of the pandemic years that began in 2020 is finally lifting and the angels in heaven or whatever turned up the saturation. There’s often a reference to the graphics being corrected, but in a metaphorical sense, as you can see in this video:
Or a reference to the last time things looked so bright:
I don’t know if it means anything, but it’s nice that a hopeful, optimistic trend is catching on.
Viral video of the week: I spent $10,000 on Kickstarter Tech
In this week’s viral video, genial tech streamer Mrwhosetheboss illustrates the hope and heartbreak of anyone who is into cutting edge gear. It’s one of those YouTube video where someone does a ridiculous thing that we all want to do, before good sense prevents us from actually doing it. Like, say, buying over-promised tech items on Kickstarter just to see what they send. Like the title says, Mr. Whose spent ten grand on products so advanced they didn’t even exist when he bought them, like a solar powered charging base, an AI-assisted pillow, and a USB powered, robotic desk-pet. No spoilers, but the results are mixed, with some products being flat-out vapor-scams, some being kind of OK, I guess, and some delivering on the promises of their Kickstarter campaigns.
UploadVRIan Hamilton
