Because why should Florida Man have all the dumb, a man in Kennewick, Washington reported to police that his red 1992 Chevy pickup truck was stolen after leaving the keys on the seat (PROTIP: great way to get your truck stolen). The only thing is, he was across the street up to no good himself. Details at eleven!:

But after surveillance video was reviewed, police discovered that the reason the pickup owner had left his truck was because he was off stealing items from a business across the street.

The pickup owner was then booked in the Benton County jail on a warrant and a new burglary charge.

His pickup is still missing.

His pickup is still missing! Man, what a bonus kick in the nuts that must be. Granted, a well-deserved bonus kick in nuts, but some marble madness nonetheless. *banging gavel (stapler)* I sentence you to nine rounds with Florida Man in a gator pit.

Keep going for a short video news report which includes footage of the robber throwing something at the truck as the other thief peels off in it.

Source: Geekologie – Smooth Criminals: Man Gets Truck Stolen While Robbing Store, Reports To Police, Gets Arrested