Dammit Kim, get your shit together.

This is a recruiting email sent from Microsoft to potential interns in the San Francisco Bay Area. It is arguably the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever read, and I reread my own articles sometimes. Rarely, but sometimes. If there was ever any question whether Microsoft understands today’s youth, the answer is a giant F*CK NO written across the sky by one of those skywriting planes except in blood and with a giant meteor speeding towards earth in the background.

According to Twitter user Patrick Burtchaell, a Microsoft recruiter sent the message to his roommate

The event in question, Internapalooza, is being held in San Francisco on July 11th, and includes partners like Google, Uber, and Snapchat.

In an email to Gizmodo, a Microsoft spokesperson didn’t exactly defend the email. “The email was poorly worded and not in keeping with our values as a company. We are looking into how this occurred and will take appropriate steps to address it,” the spokesperson said.

Wow. I’ve been offering my youth outreach services to Microsoft for years now and they turn me down every time. Meanwhile they’ve got Kim over there writing whatever the hell this is and making the company look like a joke. Bill — if you’re reading this, call me. I don’t come cheap, but I do come with my own cooler so my beer doesn’t take up space in the breakroom fridge. I’m a thoughtful coworker. *knock on cubicle wall* Not now you turd, I’m trying to network over here! I basically just interviewed for a job.

Thanks to everyone who sent this, all of whom are more than welcome to apply to my personal intern program. I guarantee to groom you for success or jail.

Source: Geekologie – WTF Was That?!: Microsoft’s Ridiculous Recruiting Email To Potential Interns