Because people will literally call the police for anything (it’s 9AM and McDonald’s wont cook McNuggets!) , somebody in Newport, Oregon, called 911 on an “armed cat” in a tree. No word if the caller was arrested for distracting police and wasting resources while I robbed a bank on the other side of town. Wait, what?

“Reports of an armed cat this morning were unfounded,” police said. “The feline was contacted by our canine and was determined to be in possession of a non-lethal branch.”

The officers ended the tongue-in-cheek post by stating the cat had been apprehended and charged with several offenses.

“The cat was given a verbal warning for posing with what could be mistaken as an assault rifle while wearing poor camouflage attire,” police said.

You know, I’d like to meet the person who made the 911 call just to see what the hell is going on in their brain. I’m guessing Fruit Loops with spoiled milk. Could you imagine though if cats really did wield firearms? Humans would have gone extinct a long time ago. *bleeding to death on kitchen floor* I just…I just thought…you wanted me to pet you.

Thanks to Simon W, who’s convinced you’re supposed to call 411 instead of 911 and probably wouldn’t survive in an emergency.

Source: Geekologie – Somebody Called The Police On A Cat In A Tree ‘Armed With An Assault Rifle’