To celebrate the 55th anniversary of its coffee brand’s release, Snow Brand Milk of Japan is selling this smooth, spreadable coffee for toast or crackers or fruit or foreplay. Apparently Snow Brand Milk coffee is already sweet and creamy, so it might actually work well as a spread for toast. Plus it still has CAFFEINE. Obviously, I’m going to rub some on my nipples and lick it off for a little mid-morning pick-me-up. “Um, is GW breast-feeding himself again?” You can stare all you want but if you take a picture it’ll last longer. I’m serious I don’t care this is perfectly natural you people need to grow up and stop calling HR on me.

Thanks again to lizzy , who agrees the easiest way to stay caffeinated is never letting it leave your system. “GW, please tell me you don’t have a rubber band around your penis.” It works, I’m totally wired right now.

Source: Geekologie – I’d Try It: Japanese Spreadable Coffee For Toast