Judged by its reputation, the Mini Cooper S should be a sporty little thing with telepathic steering, go-kart handling, and zippy throttle response. Yet, my very first impression—and this continued on throughout the test—is to ask no one in particular, yet everyone collectively: “Where the hell is its engine?” I certainly couldn’t hear it.

Top up, down, engine idling, engaging the clutch, launching hard—even bouncing off the soft rev limiter—was there mechanical music? Was there merely mechanical? No. They’ve over-silenced the engine. The 189hp (141kW) turbocharged four-cylinder unit actually makes decent power, but it’s either so stuffed full of turbo plumbing or blanketed by NVH nannies that you’ll simply never hear evidence that it exists.

Inside, the Mini is expectedly quirky. Some quirks of past Minis have gone conventional, like the old dash-mounted chrome window levers. Those are gone, replaced by press-and-lift buttons on the doors like almost every other car on the lot. However, some of its quirks feel more like simple mistakes. The center armrest is in the way of the car’s iDrive-like infotainment control on the center console. This armrest also impedes your right arm’s freedom movement, an unforgivable error in a car with a manual transmission. (Pivoting it backwards helps only marginally.)