Enlarge / Here goes nothing…literally.

On Wednesday, the beleaguered credit reporting agency Equifax launched a new service to protect people from the risks of identity theft that the company vastly magnified with a breach of over 145 million people’s credit records last year. The service, called Lock & Alert, is fronted by a mobile application and a Web application. It is intended to allow individuals to control access to their credit report on demand.

“Lock & Alert allows You to lock and unlock your EIS credit report (‘Equifax credit report’),” the services’ terms of service agreement states. “Locking or unlocking your Equifax credit report usually takes less than a minute.”

Except when it doesn’t.