Sebastian Anthony

I stand on a curb in Greenwich, admiring some reasonably attractive new-build homes. Everything is a bit too clean, a little like Disneyland. Young professionals mill around. In the distance, I can hear the hum of the Thames Clipper river bus service that goes up and down the river. And then, out of frickin’ nowhere, a van stealthily crawls around a nearby corner. The vehicle is electric and completely silent, and it’s heading straight towards me. A bit like the Speed episode of Father Ted.

As the van gets closer I can see there’s someone in the front seat: a guy in a high-vis jacket. A couple of seconds later, I can see there’s a giant nerdy grin on his face and his hands aren’t on the steering wheel. The van slowly trundles forward and eventually stops in front of me. The man hops out of the cab, clearly enjoying the baffled look on my face.