Though your knee-jerk reactions may suggest otherwise, there\u2019s nothing incongruous about pairing Christmas with scary stories.<\/p>\n
For centuries in Britain, families would gather around a fire and ward off the winter cold by sharing chilling tales of the supernatural\u2014a tradition forgotten, only to be revived by Charles Dickens and M.R. James during the Victorian era. Similar, non-Christian traditions go back even further; across cultures and faith traditions, dark midwinter nights seem to have provided to provide a particularly good excuse for us to creep out our loved ones.\u00a0A Christmas Carol<\/em>\u00a0isn\u2019t an outlier, then, but a particularly good example of the form.<\/p>\n So grab a warm drink, lock the doors, and fire up the Roku. And speaking of fire, please check the chimney before you stoke a blaze. It\u2019s a reasonable safety measure, especially if you\u2019re not sure where dad\u2019s got to…<\/p>\n Clearly, I\u2019m not the first to recommend Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale<\/em>, the Finnish film having become a nouveau holiday classic shortly after its release a decade ago\u2014though It\u2019s a Wonderful Life<\/em> this ain\u2019t. (But give it time.)<\/p>\n In the film, the research team of a greedy government drills into land best left undisturbed: an ancient burial mound that, legends suggest, is the resting place of Joulupukki, a forerunner to our modern Santa Claus. Old Joulupukki is not dissimilar from Krampus, in that he\u2019s much more interested in punishing the wicked than in rewarding the good. It\u2019s a spectacular, darkly comic, cynical winter\u2019s tale (rather the perfect one for our times) and builds to a wild climax.<\/p>\n Where to stream: <\/strong>Hulu, Shudder, Fubo TV, Tubi, Vudu, Crackle, Pluto TV, Hoopla<\/p>\n One of the O.G. slasher films, this Bob Clark-directed groundbreaker is also one of the best, with a simple, well-executed premise and a killer cast (Margot Kidder, Olivia Hussey, Andrea Martin, John Saxon, Keir Dullea). The director has legit holiday cred: after this story of a killer stalking a sorority house during winter break, he\u2019d go on to helm holiday cable staple A Christmas Story<\/em> nearly a decade later. There\u2019s not much here that we haven\u2019t seen, but only because so many later movies cribbed from its style, with less chilling results. Neither of the two remakes (from 2006 and 2019) is bad, exactly, but neither reaches nearly the heights of the original.<\/p>\n Where to stream:<\/strong> Shudder, Fubo TV, Peacock, The Roku Channel, Hoopla, Vudu, The Criterion Channel, Tubi, Pluto TV, Plex<\/p>\n John Waters called Christmas Evil<\/em> \u201cthe greatest Christmas movie ever made,\u201d and, as recommendations go, you could do a lot worse (he even did a commentary track that you can still find on the DVD and Blu-ray release). Considering the source, that recommendation also gives you a sense of what you\u2019re in for. In the prologue, a boy sees mommy kissing Santa Claus (and then some), and the experience engenders a lifelong obsession with Santa…and with keeping track of who\u2019s been naughty, and who\u2019s been nice. There\u2019s a bit of social commentary at play amid truly over-the-top death sequences that lead to a genuinely<\/em> batshit ending.<\/p>\n Where to stream:<\/strong> Shudder, Fubo TV, The Roku Channel, Hoopla, Vudu, Tubi<\/p>\n In the mid \u201880s, you could buy dolls, action figures, and storybooks with Gremlins on them, which, given how violent and nightmare-inducing the film is, is both impressively twisted and a deep indictment of a consumer culture in which we\u2019ll sell anything to anyone. Hey kids, gather \u2018round the TV for a movie in which murderous creatures get chopped in blenders and blown up in microwaves and one main character vividly describes finding her missing dad stuck in the chimney on Christmas day. Regardless, there\u2019s plenty of, uh, holiday cheer to be found…including a truly rousing band of carolers. Delightful!<\/p>\n Where to stream:<\/strong> HBO Max<\/p>\n Looking for a new streaming device? Consider one of these products.<\/p>\n Amazon Fire TV Stick Lite<\/u><\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n<\/li>\n Chromecast with Google TV (4k)<\/u><\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n<\/li>\n Roku Ultra<\/u><\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n<\/li>\n 2021 Apple TV 4K with 64GB Storage<\/u><\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n There\u2019s nothing particularly groundbreaking about Silent Night, Deadly Night,<\/em> a film about a kid who watches his parents get murdered by a man in a Santa suit and then grows up to become a Santa-themed killer himself, as one does. Though not by any means the first Christmas-related horror movie, the Reagan era was not<\/em> the time for this one. Or was maybe the perfect time? Anyway, it was boycotted and censored, which of course only generated publicity that worked to its advantage. On its own, it\u2019s a perfectly competent slasher movie, maybe even a cut above the average, with a tiny hint of a message about consumerism. As an enjoyable cultural artifact, though, it\u2019s more than worth watching. You can probably skip the sequels, though the second is enjoyably, howlingly bad (and incorporates a full 40 minutes of footage from its predecessor), while the fifth stars Mickey Rooney (!), who publicly attacked this first one.<\/p>\n Where to stream:<\/strong> Tubi<\/p>\n The story of a stepmom gradually losing her grip on reality, The Lodge<\/em> is a particularly heavy bit of Christmas horror. Some of us enjoy frothy holiday entertainment, while others like to lean into the dark, oppressive atmosphere of the bleak midwinter. Given my own vacillation there, I acknowledge all choices as valid! Riley Keough gives a great performance here as a woman newly married to a father of two children. Their mom died tragically, and the step-kids are in no mood to accept a new family member. Discovering some disturbing truths about her past, they\u2019re perfectly happy to manipulate her emotions after the trio becomes stranded without dad in a remote cabin full of over-the-top religious iconography. No merry Christmases here, no siree.<\/p>\n Where to stream:<\/strong> Hulu, Kanopy<\/p>\n On a lighter note…zombies! In this mash-up of High School Musical<\/em> and Shaun of the Dead <\/em>you never knew you needed, the titular Anna just wants to get through the Christmas show at her high school in Little Haven, Scotland. She\u2019s so preoccupied with her own problems that she fails to notice the undead infection spreading around her. It\u2019s a weird blend of styles, no question, but one packed with gory fun and some surprising, seasonally appropriate heart.<\/p>\n Where to stream:<\/strong> Hoopla, Kanopy, Pluto TV<\/p>\n A woman receives a beautiful, but creepy Christmas gift: A cool advent calendar her friend picked up at a Munich market. That\u2019s nice and all, except that it comes with several very explicit instructions that all end with a variation of \u201c…or you\u2019ll die.\u201d (Germans, amirite?) It\u2019s a unique and nightmarish movie, full of wild ideas and phantasmagoric imagery. If it doesn\u2019t all hold together perfectly, it\u2019s still an impressive ride, and that centerpiece calendar is as neat as cursed film props get.<\/p>\n Just a note: though the film gets points for having a disabled protagonist (which is not to say hero), it stars a non-disabled actor, and the character\u2019s central motivation is to walk (and dance) unaided\u2014which is fairly retrograde in terms of representation.<\/p>\n Where to stream:<\/strong> Shudder<\/p>\n Ignore the genuinely horrible title, which makes the movie sound like something you\u2019d find on the bottom row at your local Redbox. On Christmas Eve, a group of masked assailants storm a grocery store. They take hostages, but it\u2019s clear there\u2019s something more going on (hint: it involves alien raiders). It\u2019s all pretty enjoyable, with better acting and effects than you\u2019d expect. Though significantly lower budget, this could serve as your next Christmas-themed, Die Hard-esque action fix<\/u><\/em><\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n Where to stream:<\/strong> Digital rental<\/p>\n Also known as Deadly Games<\/em>. And Dial Code Santa Claus<\/em>. And, originally, 3615 code P\u00e8re No\u00ebl<\/em>. The French film represents an impressive blend of genuine horror with sweet holiday themes. It\u2019s the story of a whiz kid who tries to use technology to connect with Santa, but instead makes contact with a murderer intent on getting access to the kid\u2019s (rather posh) home. You\u2019re absolutely invited to think of this as a horror-styled Home Alone<\/em>, a comparison that this film\u2019s director (Ren\u00e9 Manzor) made when he threatened a plagiarism lawsuit against Chris Columbus and co. back in the day.<\/p>\n Where to stream:<\/strong> Shudder<\/p>\n When a mysterious infection sends a bunch of kids into full murder mode just before New Year\u2019s, their parents are forced to decide exactly how far parental love extends. The \u201ckiller kids\u201d horror sub-genre always deals with such questions, but rarely (if ever) as effectively as here. The film makes clear just how horrific it would be to have to fight back against your own kids, and offers up a potent metaphor relating the more common real-world situations in which parents and kids find themselves at odds. All that aside, it\u2019s a well-orchestrated slasher movie, with memorable murders that feel uncomfortably real without leaning into excessive gore.<\/p>\n Where to stream:<\/strong> The Roku Channel, Vudu, Tubi, Plex, IMDb TV<\/p>\n With similarities to Charles Beaumont\u2019s short story \u201cThe Howling Man\u201d (adapted as a Twilight Zone<\/em> episode), I Trapped the Devil<\/em> tells the story of a Matt and Karen, a couple who set off for a visit with Matt\u2019s troubled brother, Steve, over the holidays. Increasingly alarmed by his troubling behavior, they soon discover there\u2019s a padlock on the basement door and, behind it, a man who Steve claims is the literal devil. Which sounds entirely fine and reasonable. If the story can\u2019t quite<\/em> sustain its runtime, it\u2019s still a suspenseful and stylish Christmas mystery.<\/p>\n Where to stream:<\/strong> Hulu<\/p>\n There\u2019s a hot new toy out just in time for Christmas…Pooka, the deeply weird, incredibly temperamental doll that mostly does what it wants. The kids love it! An unemployed actor (Nyasha Hatendi) isn\u2019t thrilled when he\u2019s offered the job of hawking the dolls inside a giant Pooka suit, but the money\u2019s good. Naturally, that\u2019s when things start to go from weird to downright surreal. Director Nacho Vigalondo (Colossal<\/em>, Timecrimes<\/em>) has a ton of fun veering off in unexpected directions with the concept, which ultimately morphs into a twisted, upside down riff on A Christmas Carol<\/em>.<\/p>\n Where to stream:<\/strong> Hulu<\/p>\n I have no idea what Blood Beat<\/em> is about. I\u2019m not sure that anyone does. There\u2019s a young couple home for a family gathering when a samurai ghost (or something) starts murdering people, all set against a sweet-ass synth score. And some people are psychic? The movie\u2019s cult status doesn\u2019t stem from the hidden depths of its plotting, but from its often impressive visuals and hypnotic tone. To that end, I might suggest it as a reasonable pairing with some peppermint edibles…but only if you\u2019re not too easily freaked out. Or afraid of samurai, I guess.<\/p>\n Where to stream:<\/strong> Shudder, Tubi<\/p>\n Among the best of a decade\u2019s worth of films reviving ancient, scary European traditions involving far less jolly versions of Santa, Krampus is a Gremlins<\/em>-esque horror comedy with imaginative creature effects from the folx over at Weta Workshop. It might not be the darkest, nor the goriest, of holiday-themed horror sendups, but it is an awful lot of fun, with effects that evoke a twisted winter wonderland as we follow a family being hunted by the title demon.<\/p>\n Where to stream:<\/strong> Fubo TV, FX Now<\/p>\n Have you ever really thought about how terrible Santa’s job actually is? He has to deliver toys to billions of kids, and he has one night<\/em> to do it. The ill-advised 1985 would-be blockbuster Santa Claus: The Movie<\/em> reveals that this is only possible because for Santa, the night stretches on endlessly until the job is done, which is pretty horrific if you stop to think through the ramifications. Clever 2005 cheapie Santa’s Slay<\/em> makes the undesirableness of the position explicit, revealing that Santa (wrestler Bill Goldberg) was actually an unfavored son of Satan who was burdened with the annual task after losing a bet\u2014but only for 1,000 years, and his time is up.<\/p>\n Where to stream:<\/strong> Digital rental<\/p>\n This one is probably more action-comedy than outright horror, but if it’s Christmas bloodletting you’re looking for, it’s still a safe bet. Stranger Things’ David Harbour plays good ol’ Saint Nick, who elects to defend the lives of a wealthy family from murderous intruders (all with holiday-themed aliases like “Mr. Scrooge”) on Christmas Eve. The climax is a Home Alone<\/em>-esque booby trap sequence that takes a far bloodier and more realistic take on the mayhem little Kevin McCallister unleashes in that weirdly brutal holiday classic, and Harbour has good fun with the obvious (but still amusing) Santa-as-depressed-sad-sack shtick. <\/p>\n Where to stream: Prime Video<\/p>\n
Though your knee-jerk reactions may suggest otherwise, there\u2019s nothing incongruous about pairing Christmas with scary stories. For centuries in Britain, families would gather around a fire and ward off the winter cold by sharing chilling tales of the supernatural\u2014a tradition … Continue reading
\nRare Exports <\/em>(2010)<\/h2>\n
\nBlack Christmas<\/em> (1974)<\/h2>\n
\nChristmas Evil <\/em>(1980)<\/h2>\n
\nGremlins<\/em> (1984)<\/h2>\n
\nRecommended products<\/h2>\n
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\nSilent Night, Deadly Night<\/em> (1984)<\/h2>\n
\nThe Lodge<\/em> (2019)<\/h2>\n
\nAnna and the Apocalypse<\/em> (2017)<\/h2>\n
\nThe Advent Calendar<\/em> (2021)<\/h2>\n
\nAlien Raiders <\/em>(2008)<\/h2>\n
\nGame Over <\/em>(1989)<\/h2>\n
\nThe Children<\/em> (2008)<\/h2>\n
\nI Trapped the Devil <\/em>(2019)<\/h2>\n
\nPooka! <\/em>(2018)<\/h2>\n
\nBlood Beat<\/em> (1983)<\/h2>\n
\nKrampus <\/em>(2015)<\/h2>\n
\nSanta’s Slay<\/em> (2005)<\/h2>\n
\nViolent Night <\/em>(2022)<\/h2>\n
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\nSource: LifeHacker – 17 Bloody Good Christmas Horror Movies You Can Stream Right Now<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"