Well That Was Satisfying: Video Of An Ultra-Sharp Knife Repeatedly Slicing Halved Grapes

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These are several short Instagram videos of Austin, Texas based professional knife sharpener ‘Iron to Adamant’ demonstrating the results of his professional knife-sharpening by repeatedly slicing through a line of halved grapes. Now that is a sharp blade. Now stick it between the ribs of one of my enemies and give it a twist! “Um, what?” I meant cut my steak into cubes for me, I’m five.
“Wow.” And pass the ketchup.

Keep going for the videos.

Source: Geekologie – Well That Was Satisfying: Video Of An Ultra-Sharp Knife Repeatedly Slicing Halved Grapes

Problem Solving: Truck Carrying Excavator Finds Clever Way To Make It Up An Icy Hill

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This is a video from St-Jerome, Quebec, Canada, of a truck hauling an excavator finding a clever way to make it up an otherwise impassible icy hill by using the excavator’s bucket to help push the truck forward, apparently ripping up big pieces of asphalt in the process. They also hit the power lines a couple times. Smart. Personally, I would have just left the truck parked in the middle of the road until spring and hiked to the nearest bar, but that’s just me and we all have our own ways of dealing with problems.

Keep going for the video.

Source: Geekologie – Problem Solving: Truck Carrying Excavator Finds Clever Way To Make It Up An Icy Hill

Finally, A Decent Web-Based Customizable Cat Purr Emulator

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Note: Stop trying to click the picture above, you have to go to the website.

This is Purrli, a web-based cat purr emulator that you can customize to achieve the perfect purr. I just spent ten minutes fine tuning a purr and now I’m so relaxed I could fall asleep at my desk. I’m not at my desk though, I’m in a bathroom stall, and I’m not leaving until the meeting I’m supposed to be attending is almost over. You think I can’t walk into a conference room at the last minute and look everyone dead in the eyes and announce I just had insane diarrhea? You don’t know what I’m capable of.

The sound of a purring cat is one of the most comforting sounds available and can help soothe and calm you down when you’re feeling stressed. Naturally, it’s not just the sound that is important, but it’s also the presence of the warm cuddly cat. Purrli tries to recreate both the sound and the presence of your very own virtual cat through a custom sound engine modelled after real purrs.

With a purr that delicately changes over time, Purrli aims at making the experience as real and lively as possible. Just like a real cat, Purrli will call for your attention. Just be careful when adjusting the last slider, if you don’t want to be nagged in the middle of your work.

PROTIP: If you’re going for maximum relaxation turn the bottom slider all the way to the left like I did in the picture, otherwise the cat meows occasionally, which, at full volume, was enough to make me believe I was being attacked by a mountain lion. That’s no way to relax. Now I just need a massager that feels like a cat kneading my belly and I’ll sleep like a baby. “Waking up shitting yourself and crying?” Exactly, the usual.

Thanks to hairless, who may or may not be one of those freaky-deaky looking cats.

Source: Geekologie – Finally, A Decent Web-Based Customizable Cat Purr Emulator

Everybody Needs A Hobby: Video Of A Guy Eating 117-Year Old Concentrated Beef From A British Army Ration

old-british-ration-taste-test.jpg“That right there — actually looks pretty good.” Ahahahahaha, WHAT?!

This is a video of ration enthusiast (seriously — just look at his Youtube channel) SteveMRE1989Info eating a beef ration distributed to British soldiers during the Second Boer War (1899 – 1902). Great, here comes madder cow disease.

Engineered to deliver calories and carbs and not much else, the tin was packed with cocoa powder and a highly-processed form of beef that was pulverized, cooked, dried, and then compressed into what could be considered the original protein bar.

A century of storage turned the beef into what looks like a dry clump of dirt, and Steve confirmed the taste was not that far off from soil.

Steve then used the ration’s alternative serving instructions in an attempt to make a beef broth, which unsurprisingly turns out poorly. Still, after reviewing Steve’s Youtube channel it appears a lot more people are into videos like this than I’d previously expected, which is why I just launched my own Youtube channel of me eating all the expired food in my pantry. Will I get sick? “Hopefully.” Will I die? “Hopefully.” Tune in to find out and watch me hurl!

Keep going for the video, but skip around. The good stuff starts around 10:30. And by good I mean fair/okay.

Source: Geekologie – Everybody Needs A Hobby: Video Of A Guy Eating 117-Year Old Concentrated Beef From A British Army Ration

Video Of Some Solid Power Line Arcing During An Ice Storm

Note: Some brief, appropriate language.

This is a video shot from outside a gas station in Ypsilanti, Michigan during an ice storm that causes the power lines in the area to enter arc-madness mode. They almost sound like a jet flying overhead. It sucks Ben Franklin wasn’t around to see this, it probably would have blown his mind. Or at least blown his bifocals off. Did you know I wear bifocals? “Because you need them?” No…I just put my dad’s on whenever I want to get dizzy in a hurry. “You’re a wild child, GW.” I sure am. Plus when I was six I’d lost a lot of baby teeth and my adult teeth still hadn’t grown in yet so I’d use my grandma’s dentures whenever I wanted to eat jerky.

Keep going for the whole video. Also, can an arcing power line cook a hotdog? I’m asking for a friend with a hotdog on a string.

Source: Geekologie – Video Of Some Solid Power Line Arcing During An Ice Storm

Who Would Have Thought?: Flaming Cheese Sets Off Fire Sprinkler At Greek Restaurant

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This is a video of four servers at a Cava Messe Greek restaurant simultaneously flambéing four orders of ‘flaming saganaki’ (a pan-fried cheese, often flambéed tableside for extra flair) when they set off the fire sprinkler above them. Who would have thought? SPOILER: Apparently the guy at the table in the blue vest, because he seems to be having the time of his life. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed as hard as that man laughs. And not just because I grew up believing laughter was the sound of the devil trying to take control of your soul, but my Aunt Christy did teach me that.

Keep going for the video.

Source: Geekologie – Who Would Have Thought?: Flaming Cheese Sets Off Fire Sprinkler At Greek Restaurant

'Self-Sacrificing' Ants Explode Themselves When Threatened, Spewing Toxic Liquid

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Formally known as ‘yellow goo’ ants because of the color of the splatter they spew after exploding themselves, the newly described Colobopsis explodens of Borneo (right) self-sacrifices itself to kill another invading ant species. Brutal!

To blow themselves up, the reddish-brown minor workers — all sterile females — contracted a part of their abdomens called the gaster. They clenched it so tightly that it ruptured, spewing a yellow secretion that was manufactured in the ants’ jaw glands and had “a distinctive spice-like odor,” according to the study.

Damn, clenching your stomach so hard it ruptures — that’s serious business. Me? Whenever I clench my stomach really hard the only thing that happens is you can see my sick abs and all the babes swoon. “There’s no way you have abs.” I have never even had a single ab. Sit-ups are for people who aren’t comfortable in their own skin lying down.

Thanks to Cabanaz, who agrees they should really try some sort of peer mediation first.

Source: Geekologie – ‘Self-Sacrificing’ Ants Explode Themselves When Threatened, Spewing Toxic Liquid

Professional Stuntmen Recreate The Fighting Styles From Their Favorite Video Game Franchises

This is a video of seven professional stunt performers (with credits including several Marvel Cinematic UNNiverse films and The Walking Dead) recreating the fighting styles of five of their favorite video game franchises: Assassin’s Creed, Metal Gear, Witcher, Uncharted, and God Of War. Speaking of — I heard there’s an amazing new God Of War game that just came out today. I guess I know what I’ll be doing all weekend! “Playing it?” Close. WISHING I was playing it. My mom watched a review and said it’s too violent.

Keep going for the video while I hit my cubicle neighbor with an elbow drop off the top of our shared wall.

Source: Geekologie – Professional Stuntmen Recreate The Fighting Styles From Their Favorite Video Game Franchises

So, We've Come To This: Urinals That Play Video Ads While You Pee

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This is a new advertising urinal (although they can also display news or company info instead for workplace environments) by Dutch toilet manufacturer Mr. Friendly, who I always seem to run into in public restrooms. It’s a waterless urinal with a small screen at the top that displays video ads whenever motion is detected. A couple problems: 1) it just gives men something else to aim at when they should be focusing all their effort on making it in the toilet, 2) why not just install screens above the toilet? At least a guy wouldn’t be able to hit those without risking peeing in his own eyes (I could still do it), and 3) who looks down while they pee anyways? I stare straight ahead at the wall in front of me and think about the waterfalls on Pandora. Besides, I know where my penis is, I know what I’m doing. “Yeah? Because your shoes are soaked.” Dammit, it must have gotten caught in the top of my sneaker again. “Your penis?” *wink*

Keep going for a video in case a three minute video about a urinal is something that stirs your interest while I try to see what the guy next to me is watching.

Source: Geekologie – So, We’ve Come To This: Urinals That Play Video Ads While You Pee

Valuable Information: Hollerin' Contest Champions Discuss The Skill And Its Usage

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This is a Great Big Story video about hollerin’ champions Tony Peacock, Robbie Goodman and Sheila Frye, all of whom have won first place in the Heritage Hollerin’ Festival (previously known as the National Hollerin’ Contest prior to 2013) that’s taken place every year in Spivey’s Corner, North Carolina since 1969. What the hell is hollerin’? It’s “a controlled sound that farmers used to communicate with one another before they had modern conveniences like electricity or telephone.” Interesting. Some more info while I holler at a coworker to help me tip the vending machine:

There isn’t just one type of holler. There are actually four types of hollers. Number one – functional. It serves a purpose such as calling down to a field or calling up from a field when you needed something. Number two – communicative. You’re communicating a message such as good morning, good evening. Number three – distress you need help. Number four – expressive. Just for sheer fun many times that could be in the form of tunes or ditties.

Four different types of hollers! Who knew?! Truly fascinating stuff. Although, personally, I only have one type of holler: the one I make while rushing into battle with my broadsword drawn. “You sound like a baby crying.” That’s to confuse and bewilder the enemy. “But you’re running the wrong way.” Yeah…we were totally outnumbered and I don’t feel like dying today.

Keep going for the fascinating video.

Source: Geekologie – Valuable Information: Hollerin’ Contest Champions Discuss The Skill And Its Usage

Holy Smokes: Police Dashcam Captures Home Explosion

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This is the dashcam footage from Officer Travis Hiser’s police cruiser as he responds to a call about a Ford Explorer that was accidentally driven into a house (I do it all the time) in Hurst, Texas. Unbeknownst to everyone involved, the SUV had severed a gas line in the accident, causing an explosion just moments after Officer Hiser pulls up. Three family members were injured in the blast, but all are expected to make a full recovery. I really hope this serves as an important reminder that if you smell gas, it’s best to keep your distance. And that goes for both utility gas and disgusting friends.

Keep going for the video while I speculate just how that house snuck up on the driver like that.

Source: Geekologie – Holy Smokes: Police Dashcam Captures Home Explosion

Westworld Promo Uses 'Ultra-Realistic' Animatronic Robot In Bar To Frighten Patrons

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This is a video created to promote the second season of Westworld streaming on NOW TV featuring an “ultra-realistic” humanoid robot named Fred (manufactured by robotics company Engineered Arts and modeled after London actor Tedroy Newell) scares bargoers with his talk of a humanoid robot invasion, before eventually ‘malfunctioning’ and smashing his pint of beer. Those people really seemed freaked out about it. I…don’t know if I would have even noticed. “You’ve already had seven shots, I doubt you’d notice anything.” You keep my lunch out of this.

Keep going for the video.

Source: Geekologie – Westworld Promo Uses ‘Ultra-Realistic’ Animatronic Robot In Bar To Frighten Patrons

What's In The Box?!: The Banshee Box, A Seemingly Empty Box With A Screaming Head That Lunges Out

Note: Watch your volume on the videos.

These are several video demonstrations of the Banshee Box created by the folks at VFX. It looks like an empty, blood-splattered box, but opens to reveal a screaming banshee head lunging at you whenever the person carrying the box desires. That’s fun. Unfortunately they cost around $1,450, which is a little out of my Halloween budget this year. Truthfully, I don’t even have a budget, I always just make my costume Halloween day out of whatever I have laying around the house. “What were you last year?” A window curtain. “And the year before that?” A couch cushion. “How did that work out for you?” Six people sat on me! “My my.” The last one broke ribs.

Keep going for the videos.

Source: Geekologie – What’s In The Box?!: The Banshee Box, A Seemingly Empty Box With A Screaming Head That Lunges Out

Merchandise Everything!: An Infinity Gauntlet Coffee Mug

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Because what good is a new movie coming out if you can’t merchandise the hell out of it, this is the $22 Avengers Infinity War: ‘Fine. I’ll Pour It Myself’ Thanos Infinity Gauntlet Mug available from Merchoid. It has all six infinity stones (I can’t tell if they’re just painted or actually glue on, but it would suck if they are glued on and come off in the dishwasher because it’s probably not dishwasher safe and you did it anyways), a gold finish “for that regal look” and holds an undisclosed amount of liquid or loose change. It’s fine enough I suppose, but when you hold it, it looks like you’re holding another hand at the wrist. That’s weird. Because if I’m holding another hand, I want it to be the hand of the girl I like. “Yeah, can we not? Your hand is kinda sweaty.” That’s not sweat, it’s hotdog grease. “We’ve been together this whole time, where did you find a hotdog?” Remember when I went to go throw your coffee cup away in that trash can in the park? “Uh-huh.” Wait — is it too late to say it’s sweat?

Keep going for one more shot of just the mug.

Source: Geekologie – Merchandise Everything!: An Infinity Gauntlet Coffee Mug

Two Dudes Demonstrating Authentic Longsword Attacks

This is a video of two dudes going medieval on each other’s asses while demonstrating a variety of authentic middle-age longsword attacks based on old illustrations (including both one-handed and two-handed sword attacks). They really go at each other too. I liked that. I’m half tempted to text and see if any of my friends want to get together this weekend for some cold ones and a little light swordplay. They won’t though, because they’re no fun. “Plus they don’t exist.” You’re all I have and you hate me. Just think about that.

Keep going for the video while I talk like a knight and swing a roll of wrapping paper around the office.

Source: Geekologie – Two Dudes Demonstrating Authentic Longsword Attacks

Man Creates Knife From Plastic Kitchen Wrap

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Seen here in stabby mode, this is a video of knifesmith and Youtuber Kiwami Japan creating a functional knife from a roll of plastic kitchen wrap that he melted, molded, and sharpened (previously: forging knives out of aluminum foil and fish flesh). The end result is fairly functional, although it doesn’t slice clean through vegetables like a ninja sword and requires some sawing action. *shrug* I guess everybody needs a hobby. And in this man’s case, it’s clearly thinking of clever ways to protect yourself in the event of prison.

Keep going for the video.

Source: Geekologie – Man Creates Knife From Plastic Kitchen Wrap

The End Nears: A Video Of Two Robots Building An IKEA Chair

This is a video of two ‘off the shelf’ industrial robotic arms building a Stephan IKEA chair. So, if you were wondering if robots are officially better at building furniture than my roommate, the answer is yes. “What’s the matter with the coffee table?” *sets beer can on table, watches it slide off the end and spill* “I do suck.” You’re the worst. Remember when I paid you to build my bed?

Researchers report today in Science Robotics that they’ve used entirely off-the-shelf parts–two industrial robot arms with force sensors and a 3-D camera–to piece together [a Stephan IKEA char]. From planning to execution, it only took 20 minutes [with the actual construction taking only 8 minutes, 55 seconds].

To start, the researchers give the pair of robot arms some basic instructions–like those cartoony illustrations, but in code. This piece goes first into this other piece, then this other, etc. Then they place the pieces in a random pattern front of the robots, which eyeball the wood with the 3-D camera. So the researchers give the robots a list of tasks, then the robots take it from there.

The robots run into several problems during the chair’s construction, including determining the positions of pieces, as well as thinking it’s got a wooden dowel in a hole when it’s really just pushing it into thin air, and making sure to not hit each other and work together to pick up pieces, but they do manage to get the job done. No word if IKEA will offer at-home robotic assembly services in the future, but one can hope. “But I thought you hated robots.” I hate sleeping on a mattress on the floor even more.

Keep going for a video of the build-a-chair in action.

Source: Geekologie – The End Nears: A Video Of Two Robots Building An IKEA Chair

23-Year Old Substitute Teacher Arrested For Allowing A 'Fight Club' In High School Math Classroom

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Seen here looking like the exact sort of substitute teacher that would think starting a fight club in their classroom would be a good idea when he was high, 23-year old Ryan Fish poses for his mugshot after being arrested for allowing students to slug it out fight club style in a math classroom in Montville High School in Montville, Connecticut. He also looks like he’s been crying.

The students told police Fish even moved classroom trash cans out of the way so they can keep fighting each other.

When police asked Fish what happened during class, he told them “I would let them be teenagers and let them get their energy out.”

In the arrest warrant, Fish told police he didn’t set up the fights but he would watch them, and said: “I will admit that I did at one point egg them on.”

He also mentioned, “the truth is I’m an idiot and wanted to befriend them.” He also said, “I’m immature.”

Fish says he felt bad about the whole thing, saying “I would say I feel horrible about what happened to be honest. I didn’t think it was ok, I didn’t know what else to do.”

Ahahahahaha, he just wanted the students to like him. Man, I’ve got the feeling this guy’s got a hard time making friends. Also, starting an organized, extracurricular fight club is one thing, but you can’t just let kids go at each other all willy-nilly in a math classroom. You ever been stabbed by the pointy end of a compass before? It hurts. Just ask the kid I stabbed with the pointy end of a compass. “It hurts.” Told you. It’s cool though we became friends in detention after I let him stab me with a mechanical pencil.

Thanks to K Diddie, for reminding me of Mrs. Gitland, the best high school substitute teacher of all time (she spent the whole period telling stories like about how her daughter was growing weed in Arizona). Different strokes for different folks — that was her motto (also the reason I’ve used it as a tag for 1,798 Geekologie articles).

Source: Geekologie – 23-Year Old Substitute Teacher Arrested For Allowing A ‘Fight Club’ In High School Math Classroom

Video of A Raccoon Effortlessly Opening A 'Raccoon-Proof' Garbage Can

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This is a short Facebook video of a raccoon opening an outdoor ‘raccoon-proof’ garbage can in Toronto, Canada (previously: a raccoon who broke into a liquor store and a bunch of raccoon hands grabbing from between the board gaps of a porch). Basically it has a circular lock on top that needs to be turned to unlatch the lid. The raccoon makes short work of that, presumably from watching a human do it. That’s the thing about raccoons — they learn and adapt. Maybe not as well as us humans, but I’ve never made the same mistake twice. “I just watched you push on a pull door for a full half minute.” Piss off!

Keep going for this video, as well as the famous raccoon manhole cover video from a zoo in Japan (make sure to stick around till the very end of that one).

Source: Geekologie – Video of A Raccoon Effortlessly Opening A ‘Raccoon-Proof’ Garbage Can

Awww: Video Of A Lively Old Couple Playing A Piano Duet Together

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Seen here proving 90 is the new 89, this is an old video of an even older couple performing a lively piano duet together. The couple, Frances & Marlow Cowan, were married in 1946 and performed this short recital of ‘Old Grey Bonnet’ in the atrium of the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota in 2008. How sweet are they? Sadly, Marlow passed away in 2016 at the age of 97. I believe Frances might still be alive. Regardless, this beautiful video will last forever in our collective consciousness as a testament to their love and lives together. “I already closed the window and forgot about it.” OMG — look! “What?” There’s a bottomless turd where your heart is supposed to be.

Keep going for the video.

Source: Geekologie – Awww: Video Of A Lively Old Couple Playing A Piano Duet Together