Oh Wow: Insanely Impressive Playing Card Manipulation

This is a video from playing card manufacturer thevirts showing off their upcoming FW17 Virtuoso deck of cards (“The best deck for cardistry”) through a series of very impressive card manipulation tricks. They do use slow motion and video reversal but claim there was no CGI or strings or magnets involved, which I believe because you don’t need CGI or strings or magnets when you know real magic. Back me up, Dumbledore! “Rub my feet first.” NO DEAL.

Keep going for the entire impressive video.

Source: Geekologie – Oh Wow: Insanely Impressive Playing Card Manipulation

Flaming Bagpiper Dressed As Rebel Pilot Takes Down An AT-AT While Riding Unicycle

Because Portland will be Portland, this is a video of the Unipiper (previously) playing the Star Wars theme on his flaming bagpipes while bringing down an AT-AT with his unicycle’s tow cable (technically just a long string). Admittedly, that AT-AT would make a pretty sweet lawn ornament in the snow. Me? I haven’t seen snow in like ten years. I don’t even remember what it feels like. “It feels cold.” Okay maybe I do remember.

Keep going for the video while I speculate why he didn’t just torch the AT-AT with his flaming pipes.

Source: Geekologie – Flaming Bagpiper Dressed As Rebel Pilot Takes Down An AT-AT While Riding Unicycle

Questionable: Fossil Found 'That Looks Like Darth Vader'

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Because nobody would care about a 245-million year fossil of an extinct horseshoe crab otherwise (and I’m still struggling to), the paleontologists who found this particular specimen are claiming it looks like Darth Vader’s mask. Yeah! Star Wars can make anything relevant, right?!

Paleontologists from the New Mexico Museum of Natural History and Science in Albuquerque and the University of Colorado at Denver have published a scientific article describing the extinct fossil horseshoe crab and its uncanny resemblance to the headgear Anakin Skywalker wears when he becomes Vader.

Personally, I think if anybody it looks more like Dark Helmet from Spaceballs. But that’s just me and I’m the king of knowing what things other things look like. You should see me spotting shapes in clouds. If that was an Olympic sport I would definitely take home the gold or get banned for doping.

Thanks to Thaylor H, who invited me on a fossil dig which I graciously accepted because you never know if today is going to be the day you find a dinosaur boner.

Source: Geekologie – Questionable: Fossil Found ‘That Looks Like Darth Vader’

'Ready Player One' Gets First Official Trailer

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This is the first official trailer for the film adaptation of Ernest Cline’s ‘Ready Player One.’ It looks intense. Some of the things I recognized from the book, but a bunch I did not. Of course I don’t have the best memory, so I may have just forgotten them. Or maybe I never actually read the book — now I’m questioning everything. Am I in the OASIS? “And choosing to spend your time in a virtual reality cubicle?” Okay so I’m not in the OASIS.

Keep going for the trailer.

Source: Geekologie – ‘Ready Player One’ Gets First Official Trailer

California Man Records Plane Dropping Fire Retardant On His House

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This is a video of a California man standing outside his home to record a plane flying by to drop a bunch of red fire retardant on his property, denting his garage door and knocking pieces of his roof off in the process. Which, I think we can all agree, is a small price to pay to not have your house catch fire. Me? I payed the ultimate price to not have my house catch on fire. “You sold your soul to the devil?” Worse — penis to a wizard.

Keep going for the video.

Source: Geekologie – California Man Records Plane Dropping Fire Retardant On His House

Slow Down, Grandma!: Mobility Scooter Modded To Have Tesla-Like Acceleration, Top Speed Over 62MPH

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This is a video of the terrifying 3-wheel electric mobility scooter that somebody modded with insane acceleration capabilities and a top speed over 100km/h (~62MPH). Obviously, this is not your grandma’s Hoveround. Also obviously, when I’m older I’m going to build myself one and be the bad boy of the entire retirement village. *almost hits old man crossing the street to the community center for bingo* “What are you, nuts?! Slow down!” At least my pecker works, Arthur!

Keep going for the video.

Source: Geekologie – Slow Down, Grandma!: Mobility Scooter Modded To Have Tesla-Like Acceleration, Top Speed Over 62MPH

'Here's To 2017', A Mashup Art Print Of All The Stuff That Happened This Year

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Note: Much larger version HERE, but you might have to save it to see it at full-res.

This is ‘Here’s To 2017’, a mashup art print created by Beutler Ink featuring references to a bunch of the major pop culture and news events that happened this year. Man, what a steaming turd of a year in the toilet bowl of history. And 2018 doesn’t look to be shaping up to be much better. My only hope is that I miraculously managed to be good enough to get on Santa’s nice list this year and he delivers the giant asteroid I asked for.

Thanks to Briana, who has a much more positive outlook and is convinced 2018 is going to be THE YEAR. God I hope you’re right.

Source: Geekologie – ‘Here’s To 2017’, A Mashup Art Print Of All The Stuff That Happened This Year

Dear God: Tornado Tears Through Concrete And Steel Building Like A Wet Paper Bag

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This is a video from Spartanburg, South Carolina of an EF2 tornado (wind speeds 111 – 135MPH) tearing through a concrete and steel warehouse back in October. Thankfully (and amazingly), none of the people seen in the video right before the tornado comes plowing through were even seriously injured. I like how that one guy was actually outside like ten seconds before shit hits the fan. There are balls, and then there are that guy’s balls, which I can only assume were forged in the heart of a dying star as practice before Thor’s hammer.

Keep going for the video. Also, props to whoever installed that security camera, they clearly did a good job. Also, clearly a tornado > the big bad wolf.

Source: Geekologie – Dear God: Tornado Tears Through Concrete And Steel Building Like A Wet Paper Bag

Neato: Adding Colored Ink To Water Calligraphy

This is a video of calligrapher Seb Lester demonstrating a water calligraphy technique. Basically, you write whatever you want with water, then drip drops of colored ink into the water and watch the magic happen. Pretty neat, right? I’m thinking I’m going to have my next birthday invitations done in the same style so people know I spent a lot of money on the party and should feel guilted into bringing expensive gifts. I’d try inking them myself, but I don’t have a very steady hand. As a matter of fact, I have a very unsteady hand, which is why I was discharged from the military. “No, you were caught trying to steal a tank.” I could tell it was sad just wanted to crush some cars.

Keep going for the whole video (he adds purple too) as well as another example.

Source: Geekologie – Neato: Adding Colored Ink To Water Calligraphy

Videos Of NASA Testing Its New Shape Memory Alloy Tires

These are several videos of NASA testing out its new shape memory alloy tires for use on future trips to distant planets that will probably never happen. The tires are constructed out of a titanium-nickel alloy, and can return to their original shape after being deformed by rolling over a rock or the leg of a jaywalking alien. This isn’t a crosswalk buddy, can’t you read the signs?! Whoa — okay now, let’s put the laser blaster away. Oh God, oh God, please don’t kill me! *shaking head* Whew — it was a just a daydream. “Are you okay, GW?” Why wouldn’t I be? I’ve never been okayer. “Because you’re crying.” It was just so vivid.

Keep going for the the video above of a Mars simulation, a video of a tire being tested on a Jeep in the grass, and a more informative minute and a half long video.

Source: Geekologie – Videos Of NASA Testing Its New Shape Memory Alloy Tires

All The Rage: Christmas Tree Decoration Inspired Eyebrows

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These are a bunch of photos taken by makeup and beauty enthusiasts who have transformed their eyebrows into tiny Christmas tree inspired displays. I suspect they’re going to be all the rage at holiday parties this year, which is great because they should make it super easily to identify crazy people from a safe distance.

Keep going for a bunch more examples, applied with varying degrees of skill.

Source: Geekologie – All The Rage: Christmas Tree Decoration Inspired Eyebrows

Fire Department Spends An Hour Rescuing Youtube 'Prankster' Who Cemented His Head In A Microwave

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Because even Darwin sleeps on the job sometimes, a 22-year old Youtube ‘prankster’ had to be rescued by local fire services in Wolverhampton, England after cementing his head in a microwave. Wait — how is almost suffocating a prank? If you die, aren’t you only pranking yourself?

Friends had managed to feed an air tube into the 22-year-old’s mouth to help him breathe, the service said.

Watch Commander Shaun Dakin said the man “could quite easily have suffocated or have been seriously injured”.

Mr Dakin said: “He and a group of friends had mixed seven bags of Polyfilla which they then poured around his head, which was protected by a plastic bag inside the microwave.
“The oven was being used as a mould and wasn’t plugged in. The mixture quickly set hard and, by the time we were called, they’d already been trying to free him for an hour and a half.”

“All of the group involved were very apologetic, but this was clearly a call-out which might have prevented us from helping someone else in genuine, accidental need.”

You can watch the video below, but I don’t really encourage it. It’s just eleven minutes of Jonny Numbnuts freaking out with a microwave stuck to his head. Personally, I would have preferred to see the fire department plug the microwave in and hit the popcorn button to let nature run its course, but that’s just me and the gazelle with the microwave on its head is always the first to get eaten by lions anyways.

Keep going for the video while I write Youtube demanding this guy be banned from ever uploading or monetizing another video.

Source: Geekologie – Fire Department Spends An Hour Rescuing Youtube ‘Prankster’ Who Cemented His Head In A Microwave

Bionic Double Hand Turns One Human Hand Into Two Robot Ones

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This is a video demonstration of the bionic Double Hand developed by youbionic. They come in both left and right hand models and you can actually buy one for €1,800 (~$2,120). One hand is controlled by your index and middle fingers, and the other hand by your ring finger and pinky. Based on the video, they don’t really seem stronger or more practical than a single human hand, and the functionality seems pretty limited besides being able to buy two and pleasure four robots simultaneously, which, let’s not kid ourselves, is exactly what these were invented for.

Keep going for the video.

Source: Geekologie – Bionic Double Hand Turns One Human Hand Into Two Robot Ones

Wear Sunscreen: Guy Shaves Head, Gets Sunburned And Swells, Can Push Dents In His Head

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In a throwback to the Baz Luhrmann song ‘Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)’, based on the hypothetical commencement speech written by columnist Mary Schmich, these are several shots of Twitter user Cabe Huckabee reminding us all why it’s so important to wear sunblock and not burn. Apparently Cabe said for days after the burn he could push his head and a dent would remain for around a half hour. That can’t be good. When reached for comment about the incident, 4 out of 5 local dermatologists told me they’re afraid they’ll have to tell their partner they’re not in the mood to make love tonight because they’re just too depressed about people not taking care of their skin. The fifth said he was new in town and looking to make some friends, so he invited me out to grab a beer this evening which I accepted because I have a rash I really want looked at.

Thanks to Stephanie B, who agrees the more SPFs, the merrier (plus paler).

Source: Geekologie – Wear Sunscreen: Guy Shaves Head, Gets Sunburned And Swells, Can Push Dents In His Head

The World's Worst Arsonist, Caught On Security Cam

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This is a video of the world’s worst arsonist trying to get a fire started on the roof of a building. His original plan (A) seems to involve throwing a small plastic gas can on the roof (he misses with the first toss), then trying to ignite it by shooting a tiny Roman candle at it. Amazingly, that doesn’t work for our human Wile E Coyote. He then goes to plan B) set a rag on fire and toss it up there. That also fails so it’s time for plan C) light an empty pack of cigarette ablaze and throw that. Womp womp! Plan D) Another cigarette pack (you have to work with what you’ve got, and this guy’s truck is apparently a mobile empty cigarette pack depository). Plan E) Another tiny Roman candle. At this point I’m pretty sure he notices the security camera but doesn’t care because soon any incriminating evidence is going to be destroyed by a fire, right? So, feeling his fire-starting work here is done, he leaves….but returns six minutes later to a very disappointing non-fire. That’s it, it’s time for plan F) use the ladder in the back of your truck to climb up to the roof and put another gallon gas can up there, light it with a lighter, almost fall off the ladder and die because you’re so surprised you actually started a fire, then pack up your ladder and leave. Literally 45 seconds later police are on the scene, and another five minutes and there’s a firetruck that doesn’t even need to use its hose because the fire went out on its own. So, if anybody was wondering who didn’t start the wildfires in California, it was this guy. I doubt he can even light a stove burner.

Keep going for the video.

Source: Geekologie – The World’s Worst Arsonist, Caught On Security Cam

Stop-Motion Video Of A Guy Building Kylo Ren's LEGO TIE Silencer With The Force

To celebrate the upcoming release of that new Star Wars movie, this is a video of Youtuber Shanks FX building a LEGO model of Kylo Ren’s TIE Silencer with nothing but the Force. You know, I once tricked one of my younger cousins into thinking I could wield the Force by rolling a drinking straw across the table with my power, but I was really just secretly blowing on it. It’s a great trick if you can do it as good as I can. I bet he probably still thinks I can use the Force, and he’s in college now. He probably also still thinks I have a detachable thumb (I’m that good).

Keep going for the whole video.

Source: Geekologie – Stop-Motion Video Of A Guy Building Kylo Ren’s LEGO TIE Silencer With The Force

Stick A Finger In There: Video Of An Ultra High Speed Industrial Bacon Slicer

This is a video demonstration of the TEXTOR TS700-UB high speed bacon and pepperoni slicer. Its blade spins at up to 2,000 RPM to slice bacon and pepperoni in the blink of an eye. But can it cut through bone? I’m asking for a friend who wants to make cross-section drink coasters out of his roommate’s arm. FUN FACT: did you know you can eat bacon raw if you can find it in your heart to learn to love and accept insane diarrhea?

Keep going for the latest in meat slicing technology.

Source: Geekologie – Stick A Finger In There: Video Of An Ultra High Speed Industrial Bacon Slicer

But Is Christmas Still Coming?: Parachuting Santa Plows Into A Tree, Light Pole, Breaks Leg

santa-parachute-crash.jpgCome on, Santa. Of all the places to land on a beach you choose a tree?

This is a video from Gulfport, Florida of a parachuting Santa coming to deliver an Elf On The Shelf to a nine-year old girl during a charity event when Santa realizes, ‘Holy shit, this isn’t a sleigh!’ and plows into a tree and light pole at high speed. Thankfully, Santa escaped with only a broken leg, although Christmas has been pushed back until March while he heals. Try to break it to your children gently. I’m thinking something along the lines of, “CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED, SANTA’S DEAD.”

Keep going for the video, complete with evil kid laughing at the end.

Source: Geekologie – But Is Christmas Still Coming?: Parachuting Santa Plows Into A Tree, Light Pole, Breaks Leg

Good To Know: Don't Microwave A Hard Boiled Egg Then Poke It

Note: Loud scream at 0:40 when the egg explodes.

This is a video of a man demonstrating why not to microwave a hard boiled egg then poke it with a fork. Based on how cautious he is and the fact there’s a person filming, I’m guessing he clearly knew what was going to happen. Also, I like how they decided to do this in the break room at work, because why dirty your own kitchen when you clearly already have at least once before?

Keep going for the whole video of how not to make deviled eggs, complete with forty seconds of suspense.

Source: Geekologie – Good To Know: Don’t Microwave A Hard Boiled Egg Then Poke It

Band On A Budget: Jamming Out On A $1 Toy Guitar

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This is a video of musician Rob Scallon (previously) rocking out on a budget with the $1 plastic toy guitar he bought at Dollar Tree. Man, I love Dollar Tree. Everything is a dollar or less. That’s great value. Dollar Tree should hire a spokesperson, and that person should be me. And don’t worry — I come scandal free. “Your roommate disappeared almost six months ago after neighbors claim they heard a heated argument.” That’s not a scandal. “What is it then?” The perfect crime. “Um, what?” I meant AN UNSOLVED MYSTERY.

Keep going for the video.

Source: Geekologie – Band On A Budget: Jamming Out On A Toy Guitar