Unboxing Videos: Kid Orders Bong Online, Mom Makes Him Open It In Front Of Her

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This is a video of some kid who bought a dab rig online, which his mom makes him open right in front of her when it arrives as his older brother films, presumably while grinning from ear-to-ear. Highlights include:

“I’m opening it, chill!”

“It just looks like, a vase for like a bunch of like, things.”

“What the frick! What the heck! I didn’t order that. I ordered an X-Box card….or an X-Box remote. Oh wow, I did not order that!”

As someone in the Reddit comments pointed out, he should have said it was a Fleshlight before ever taking it out of the box. At least then he might have stood a chance. This was just like watching a fish in a barrel waiting to get shot. No word what his punishment will be, but I doubt he’ll be needing that X-Box remote.

Keep going for the video.

Source: Geekologie – Unboxing Videos: Kid Orders Bong Online, Mom Makes Him Open It In Front Of Her

Forklift Breaks Pallets Stacked With Glass Bottles

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This is a video of a forklift operator putting a couple pallets of glass bottles out of their misery. As soon as the video starts things already seem out of hand, so I’m not sure if he’s entirely to blame or if the original pallet stacker did a bad job. Should you really be stacking pallets of glass bottles that high anyways? Also, is this really how they ship bottles? Does the bottle manufacturer make allowances for breakage during transit? I’m thinking somewhere around 85%? You’d probably have just as much success getting them to their destination unbroken if you just threw them all in the ocean with notes in them, which I’ve actually done before. “What did the message say?” Good for one free sensual massage. “Interesting.” I’m hoping a mermaid finds it instead of a pirate!

Keep going for the video.

Source: Geekologie – Forklift Breaks Pallets Stacked With Glass Bottles

P0rnHub Releases Stats On Post Hawaii Missile Alert Fap Attack

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Last Saturday, January 13th, Hawaii was mistakenly alerted to a missile attack after a government employee accidentally clicked the ‘MISSILE ALERT’ button instead of the ‘TEST MISSILE ALERT’ button during a drill. I’m guessing he failed that drill. And apparently in the wake of that false alarm, Hawaiians rushed to their computers and mobile devices to arm their own missiles and relieve the stress of thinking they were just about to die. Personally, I’m surprised they didn’t hit the site the moment they heard about the attack, but that’s just smart thinking because you never if you’re gonna get another chance. Also if you remember tell your family you love them.

Thanks to Nick H, who would have lashed two sharks to his feet and skied them to Atlantis.

Source: Geekologie – P0rnHub Releases Stats On Post Hawaii Missile Alert Fap Attack

A Machine Specifically Made For Trimming Shrubs Into Perfectly Round Spheres

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Balls: they’re a popular shape. Enter an entirely too long video demonstration of the RAP 10 trimmer from Orlandi, a gas-powered trimmer very specifically designed to trim shrubs into perfectly round little spheres. I can’t imagine they do a lot of high-volume sales. Me? I don’t like my shrubs perfectly round, I like them to have PERSONALITY. “They’re all dried up and dead.” They all had adventurous personalities and paid the ultimate price. “You didn’t water them.” I went on vacation, okay?!

Keep going for the video while I try to convince my roommate to let me give him a haircut with one of these.

Source: Geekologie – A Machine Specifically Made For Trimming Shrubs Into Perfectly Round Spheres

What The Hell Was That?: A Bunch Of Kids Trying To Vape A Wii Remote At A College Party

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Because not everybody is destined to pass freshman year, this is a video of a bunch of college students at a house party trying to vape out of the Wii Remote a girl offers them, presumably after telling them it’s filled with Tide Pods. Obviously, our future has never looked so bright. “What are you talking about?” The sun. “What about it?” We should shoot ourselves straight into it.

Keep going for the video.

Source: Geekologie – What The Hell Was That?: A Bunch Of Kids Trying To Vape A Wii Remote At A College Party

Nintendo Labo, The Switch's New $70+ Cardboard Accessories

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This is a video introduction to Nintendo Labo, a series of assemble-yourself cardboard accessories for use with the Nintendo Switch and its controllers. The $70 Variety Kit includes five different projects: an R/C car, fishing rod, house, motorbike and piano, as well as little games to play with your new accessories. The $80 Robot Kit includes a cardboard backpack and strings that attach to your hand grips and feet to allow you to control a giant robot in-game. It’s basically like poor virtual reality. Fun! But still — cardboard? My cats are going to tear these things to shreds provided I don’t accidentally sit or step on them first! “Do you even own a Switch?” Well, no. “So….” Welcome to the internet, I have strong opinions about things that have absolutely zero bearing on my own life.

Keep going for the video.

Source: Geekologie – Nintendo Labo, The Switch’s New + Cardboard Accessories

Video Of A 1700's English Working Woman Getting Dressed In The Morning

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This is a video of a lady getting dressed in the morning in the fashion of an 18th century English working woman. That…is a lot of layers. I’m more of a t-shirt and jeans guy, but that’s just me and I live in the 22nd century. “21st.” Really, we’re not there already? What’s taking so long? “Time.” Haha — check this out. *changes date in phone to January 18th, 2101, bricks phone* Well shit. “Y2KH01!” You should have warned me.

Keep going for the video.

Source: Geekologie – Video Of A 1700’s English Working Woman Getting Dressed In The Morning

Smooth: Guy Breaks Buddy's TV Trying Virtual Reality For The First Time

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This is a vertical video of Youtuber Lame Videos’ friend Perry playing some fear-of-heights virtual reality game (Richie’s Plank Experience?) for the first time. It ends in panic and a broken television. Smooth moves, Perry. Thankfully for Lame Videos, Perry agreed to buy him a new television to replace the one he broke chickening out in virtual reality. That’s nice of him. I would have just left and ended the friendship, but that’s just me and I feel like I shouldn’t be held responsible for the things I do in virtual reality. “Your roommate told me he walked in on you humping his recliner.” In my goggles it was a Transformer!

Keep going for the video.

Source: Geekologie – Smooth: Guy Breaks Buddy’s TV Trying Virtual Reality For The First Time

The Road Movie: A Documentary Made Entirely From Real Russian Dashcam Footage

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This is the trailer for The Road Movie, a documentary made entirely from Russian dashcam footage. It looks exhilarating. You know, I bet they could make a full-length Russian dashcam documentary every week and there would still be plenty of footage left over to make a daily eight-hour show that runs until the end of time. It’s like a wintery Mad Max movie over there. We should plan a vacation. “I’ve always wanted to see the Kremlin.” Yeah I’m thinking Fiji — somewhere far, far away from these lunatics.

Keep going for the action-packed trailer.

Source: Geekologie – The Road Movie: A Documentary Made Entirely From Real Russian Dashcam Footage

Video Of Every National Geographic Cover In Two Minutes

PROTIP: Hit pause occasionally.

To celebrate their 130th anniversary this year, this is a video released by National Geographic of every single one of its covers since the magazine’s inception in 1888. I thought it was interesting they didn’t start regularly using graphics and photos on the cover until the 1960s. Prior to that there it was just text and the occasional American flag. I still remember a lot of those 90’s covers. I used to get National Geographic when I was a kid because when I grew up I was going to be an INTREPID WORLD EXPLORER. “How did that work out for you?” The Indiana Jones lifestyle is a lie sold to us by George Lucas and Steven Spielberg.

Keep going for the video.

Source: Geekologie – Video Of Every National Geographic Cover In Two Minutes

The Little Tractor Trailer That Couldn't: Semi Tries To Climb Icy Hill, Fails, Takes Out Stoplight

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This is a vertical video from Longview, Texas of a tractor trailer attempting to climb an icy hill, failing, then sliding backwards into a stoplight, which safely lands on some power lines. I love how this lady and her friends are just hanging out by the road documenting which cars and trucks are able to make it up the hill. They sound like a good time. What do think they do in the summer for fun? “Probably sit on a porch.” Man, some of my fondest memories have been made sitting on a porch. “Which memories?” Future ones with these people.

Keep going for the video.

Source: Geekologie – The Little Tractor Trailer That Couldn’t: Semi Tries To Climb Icy Hill, Fails, Takes Out Stoplight

Now Make It Bigger: An Official Jurassic Park Power Wheels Jeep

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Seen here at the exact moment he spotted a t-rex while his copilot points at a f***ing tree, a young boy prepares to steer his new Jurassic Park Power Wheels Jeep out of dino-danger. The $400 vehicle has a top speed of 5MPH (paleontologists estimate a t-rex could run around 12MPH), a functional light bar, images of a t-rex chasing you in all the mirrors, and makes dinosaur sound effects. Obviously, it’s the perfect ride for a blogger who plans on shrinking himself down to a third of his current size. “You’re talking about yourself?” Do you know any other bloggers dumb enough to step in front of an experimental shrink-ray just so they can drive a Jurassic Park Power Wheels Jeep? “You truly are a gift from God.” Thanks! “But like, a white elephant gift.” Dammit! You were so close to loving me, I could almost feel the warmth of your touch. Can’t you just be nice to me for once? “You’re the one that puts the words in my mouth.” I know, but you’re inherently evil, I can’t change that about you on my own.

Keep going for shots of the vehicle from all around.

Source: Geekologie – Now Make It Bigger: An Official Jurassic Park Power Wheels Jeep

Demonstration Of LG's 65-Inch Rollable OLED Television

This is a video from the 2018 Consumer Electronics Show of LG demonstrating their 65-inch rollable OLED television. The 16:9 screen can be remotely rolled down into its little box to display different aspect ratios like 21:9 (to avoid having black bars at the top and bottom of your screen when watching movies) and even down to just a tiny strip for displaying the weather, streaming audio information, etc. It can also be full retracted into its box when not in use. They say the television is probably still a few years out from going into production, which is fine with me because I don’t really need that anyways. Sure it’s the perfect TV for letting your friends know your stuff is cooler and more expensive than theirs, but that’s about it. I’m fine if my TV has to display black bars to watch a movie in the proper aspect ratio. That’s like, the least of my concerns. It’s not even a concern. Now this rash on the inside of my leg — that’s a concern. You think it’s getting bigger? “This is the first time I’ve seen it.” Well it used to be half that size. “Then I’d say it’s getting bigger.” So should we try burning with fire or acid first? “Both at the same time?” Shock and awe style — I like the way you think.

Keep going for the video. Also, call me when it can roll out of the towel bar in the bathroom so I can watch TV on the can.

Source: Geekologie – Demonstration Of LG’s 65-Inch Rollable OLED Television

I'm Flying Jack!: Video Of An Aircraft Carrier Hauling Ass, Making Sharp Turns

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This is a three minute video of an aircraft carrier cruising around at high speed and making some impressively sharp turns while demonstrating its evasive action maneuvers. Who knew aircraft carriers were so agile? I didn’t, whenever I’d recreate sea battles during bath time I’d always have the aircraft carriers just sit there. Obviously, we’re going to have to rectify that pronto. “I’m not taking a bath with you.” Well will you at least sit on the toilet and watch me? “Absolutely not.” Come on — I’ll give us both Abraham Lincoln bubble bath beards! “Tempting.” Really?! “No.” You make my heart hurt.

Keep going for the video.

Source: Geekologie – I’m Flying Jack!: Video Of An Aircraft Carrier Hauling Ass, Making Sharp Turns

Finally, A Decent Night-Time Toilet Bowl Projector With Emojis

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Trying to find the toilet in the dark: it’s hard and sometimes you accidentally find your hamper instead. Enter the $23 for two Illumibowl Everyday Emoji Projector. The motion-activated projector illuminates your toilet bowl with a rose, clown fish, bow and arrow target or poop emoji so you don’t have to turn the light on to pee at night. Plus it’s going to be super hilarious when I prank my roommate by clipping it to his laptop instead.

Keep going for a couple more product shots.

Source: Geekologie – Finally, A Decent Night-Time Toilet Bowl Projector With Emojis

All The Rage: Getting Your Hair Cut With Fire

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This are several videos from the Kaizo Salon N Spa in Mumbai, India of customers receiving the ‘Kaizo Special Fire Haircut Treatment’ (previously: this other salon owner who cuts hair with fire, dual samurai swords, and razor talons). In their own words while I try to charge my roommate $40 to set his head on fire in the bathtub:

Burn away your bad and damaged hair with Kaizo’s special Fire Haircut treatment.

Cool, but can’t you just cut the bad and damaged hair instead? What’s so great about burning it besides the amazing smell? Wait a minute — you forgot to order scissors again, didn’t you? Haha, I knew it! Let me drink that blue stuff.

Keep going for the videos.

Source: Geekologie – All The Rage: Getting Your Hair Cut With Fire

LEGO Automaton Of Two Fur Traders Paddling A Canoe

This is a LEGO automaton build by Jason of JK Brickworks (previously: a Super Mario chomping piranha plant, wing-flapping bat and holiday cookie icer). It features a pair of French-Canadian fur traders paddling their canoe towards adventure. Or getting mauled and eaten by a bear. Which I suppose is an adventure, just not one you’re going to write home about afterwards because you’re a pile of bear turds now.

Keep going for a video of the model in action as well as a full tour of its movement.

Source: Geekologie – LEGO Automaton Of Two Fur Traders Paddling A Canoe

A Bunch Of Longhair Cats Watching Animated Mice Run Around On TV

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This is a video of a group of longhair cats (aka a clowder) watching some sort of mouse game that their caretaker put on the flatscreen TV. That looks like a great way to teach your cats to scratch the television (personally, I just taped one of those feather-on-a-stick toys to the top of mine). And just how many longhair cats do you have? And how many Roombas? Have you ever knit anything out of all the hair they shed? Because I would. And it would be a sweater that says ‘CAT LADY 4 LIFE’ (the 4 lets the kids at the pet store know you’re hip). Also that has got to be the cleanest house with two hundred cats I have ever seen.

Keep going for the video.

Source: Geekologie – A Bunch Of Longhair Cats Watching Animated Mice Run Around On TV

Man Reassembled A £5 Note From Finely Shredded Misprints

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This is a timelapse video of Youtuber Martin John Callanan reassembling a Bank Of England £5 Note (aka a fiver) from the finely shredded remnants of uncirculated, misprinted bills. Martin must be great at jigsaw puzzles. In his own words, which is basically exactly what I just said:

A Bank of England five pound note reconstructed from shredded production waste. An animation made, during one work day, form the security shredded remnants of misprinted new polymer Five Pound banknotes (G series), which never made it into circulation.

Obviously, the final product leaves a lot to be desired in terms of resembling a passable fiver. As a matter of fact, when reached for comment about the note, the cashier at the corner convenience store told me to leave before he calls the police.

Keep going for the video.

Source: Geekologie – Man Reassembled A £5 Note From Finely Shredded Misprints

Video Of A Chinese Rocket Booster Crashing Near A Small Town

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This is a video of a booster from a Chinese Long March 3B rocket crashing back down to earth near the small town of Xiangdu, some 435 miles from the rocket’s launch. I don’t think that was supposed to happen. But what do I know? I’m just a man who occasionally launches bottle rockets over the wall of his cubicle to liven up the office.

While there were no known casualties or property damage, this doesn’t mean it was safe. For one thing, China normally plans booster drop zones carefully and alerts (or in some cases, evacuates) areas to make sure no one gets hurt. This didn’t entirely go according to plan. Moreover, the highly toxic rocket fuel and secondary explosions posed risks to curious onlookers.

Yeah, I can’t imagine the people standing around in the second part of the video breathing those burning rocket fumes (i.e. hydrazine) was a good idea. If I were there I would have just quickly verified it wasn’t a UFO crash then gotten the hell out of there. “And if it was a UFO crash?” I would have dragged one of the aliens back to my apartment and beaten the secrets of space out of it. “But what if it was a friendly alien?” That’s cute — you’re cute. There are absolutely zero aliens with good intentions coming to visit this planet.

Keep going for the video.

Source: Geekologie – Video Of A Chinese Rocket Booster Crashing Near A Small Town